Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Wordless Wednesday...Okay, So Maybe Not 'Wordless'...

Look who's 5 months old today!



You can:

Roll over

Laugh, giggle and smile

Reach and grab for things

Sit up slouching over (you're so close to having it down!)

Get up on your hands and knees

Scoot forward

Jump up and down in your excersaucer

Scream like nobodies business

Coo and talk to your brothers, mommy and daddy

Whine when you want to nurse

Whine when you want mommy to hold you

Melt the hearts of everyone who meets you



You have:

Two teeth (working on number three)

Cute chubby rolls- even though you have slowed down on gaining weight

Big blue eyes

Long, adorable, kissable toes

Wispy, soft, blond hair

An adorable cleft in your chin

A dimple in your cheek

Smooth, beautiful, baby skin

Daddy's ears



You hate:

Waiting for your food

Poopie diapers

Bottles (refuses to take one!)

Your car seat

When mommy switches sides while nursing

Car rides

When Noah pokes you

Your swing

Avocados

Using a blanket while mommy nurses you in public (this is new)



You love:

Your mommy most of all

Nursing

Solid food (minus avocado)

Your brothers

Your daddy

Your crib/sleep

Your excersaucer

Your Bumbo seat

Being held

Being kissed

Being talked to

Being tickled (notice a pattern here?)

To cuddle

Your toes to be naked and free...oh, okay, so that's what mommy loves...

To suck your thumb

To play with your baby toys

To chew on your baby toys



I love you my little Grant man! What a beautiful addition you've been to our family! Happy 5 months! Time is going way too fast...













Saturday, September 19, 2009

My boys. =)

Okay, so I know I'm just a little partial...but I seriously have the most gorgeous boys ever! Wow! The Lord has truly blessed Tim and I. I never knew I could be so madly in love with my children. They're so much work but so worth it!










Saturday, September 12, 2009

Thanks Mom...


Today has been a good day. My mom took my three older boys until Tuesday morning. So that means we only have the Grant man. It was kind of my mom's little birthday/anniversary gift to me. It has been very relaxing and refreshing. My boys mean the world to me but a break is almost needed in order for me to keep my sanity. I miss them like crazy though! I miss my good night cuddles with Noah, Austin's dimpled grin and Jonathan's sense of humor. Sigh...my boys are the cutest, little rascals ever! It's amazing how incomplete I feel without them. I know they're having a blast and are in very good hands though. Thanks mom- you're the BEST! Love you!
*Update*
Thanks Bethany!!!! (My 17 year old sister who helps my mom ALLOT when my mom has my boys!) I love you- you're the BESTEST, most awesome, 17 year old sister a person could have! You rock! =)

Friday, September 11, 2009

Thoughts...


The other night I had watched a video on YouTube and it brought back memories. Memories, thoughts and feelings I'd rather not think about again...ever. It made me think about 2 1/2 years ago when Noah was in the hospital. What a dark time of my life that was. Something I'd rather not experience again. It's ranks up there as being one of the darkest times of my life. Even surpassing the death of my father. Some nights I still lay in bed crying and wondering what I should have done differently. I beat myself up about not taking him sooner to the doctor. Even though I know I tried my best at home to get him to gain weight. I tried every non-allergenic formula out there and nothing seemed to work. I decided to drive an 1 1/2 hours away (we had just moved)to his original doctor instead of taking the time to find a doctor. I remember the feeling when they put him on the scale and he still weighed his birth weight at 3 months old. I was shocked, mortified, embarrassed, scared and worried. How could this be?! I was nursing him then feeding him a whole 4 ounce bottle. He was eating every two hours. I remember feeling like a common criminal and low life when the doctor told me they would have to call DCFS on me. I knew the truth. I knew I hadn't starved my baby and I couldn't believe they'd think I do such a thing- even though I knew why they did. I was horrified. I had been trying everything I knew to get my baby to gain weight. I knew there was a problem. I just didn't know how bad. (That's the whole reason I was taking him to the doctor.) I think about the feelings of hopelessness when every day they put on the scale and he hadn't gained an ounce. I wanted him to gain so bad- even if it made me look like I had neglected him. Even though I knew I had not. I didn't care. I just wanted my baby to be healthy again. I remember the anger when the nurses would scrape my baby's head thinking he had cradle cap when I knew it was a rash from allergies. His head would pus and ooze. The anger when they put the IV in wrong and it missed his vein and made his leg swell up to 3x's it's original size. The anger when they kept trying to feed him the same formula I had been feeding him and he was still in pain. The anger when the doctor wouldn't listen to me when I told him my gut feeling was that he had severe food allergies. The anger I felt when the doctor told a nurse to watch me when I fed my baby or for the nurse to feed him for me. (I think they thought I was throwing the food out or something.)The relief when they transferred Noah to a different hospital. The relief when the gastro doctor (at the new hospital) took one look at him and said it looked like he had a food allergy. The relief when my child seemed content after his first feeding on the new, special formula. The disappointment when he still wasn't gaining weight. The loneliness. The incredible loneliness. The loneliness because I got very few visitors. The loneliness because Tim was too busy with work to be there with me. The shame because I knew it was because they blamed me. The shame when I heard the comments people had made about my inability to care for my child. The shame when the DCFS investigator came to interrogate me. The shame when the investigator came to my house and interrogated my other children. The sadness I felt when even certain family members were upset with me. The sadness I felt when they would poke my baby with a needle every morning. The tears- the many, many tears I shed. The happiness I felt when Noah was gaining weight. The happiness when his rash cleared up. The happiness when I received a phone call from my cousin and she prayed with me over the phone. The happiness when my grandfather took the time to call and see how his great-grandson was doing. The happiness that my mom cared enough to call every,single morning to see what his weight was. The happiness and love I felt for my mother knowing she was caring for my two older children. (My family was such a huge support for me.)The happiness when I got to take my baby home with me. The happiness when he gained weight at every doctor's appointment after his initial hospital stay. The love I felt for my baby. The love I felt for my family. The love I felt for my God. Because He loved me through it all. Without him it would've been an even darker time. My relationship with Him grew so much during that time. And even though I would never want to go back to that time in my life it did make me the person I am now. God put that in my life for a reason. For what? I'm not sure but I know there was/is a purpose to everything. I thank God every day that Noah is now a very healthy, active and growing (almost) 3 year old!

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

I'm an open book...

This post is about as transparent as it will ever get here. I try not to divulge too much personal information or feelings on my blog. Since you know, the whole world can read it if they'd like. Anyway, I've been thinking the last couple of days. Giving myself an examination of sorts. I've been wondering why it seems to be so hard for me to make friends. This is something I've always struggled with. I try to do everything right. I'm friendly, a good listener and go out of my way to help people. Anyway, I think I do all these things. Maybe I don't as well as I think I do. My sister told me yesterday that I do something I wasn't aware of. Something that could possibly be a turn off to people. I never knew I did this thing. It really made me stop and think about how people might view me. Is this why I don't have many friends? I don't know- maybe. Or am I too clingy? Or not clingy enough? Am I too quiet? Or maybe I talk too much? Do I intimidate people? Or do people intimidate me? What's wrong with me that people just don't gravitate towards me. I seem to repel people. I feel like I'm wearing a sign that says, "No need to get to know me. I don't need friends. Thanks anyway!". I notice that allot of the people in my life have their group of friends that they do things with. I don't seem to be included in any of those groups. When I go to get togethers (aside from my family get togethers) I feel like I'm just there. Lost in the crowd. Forgettable. I feel out of place and alone. I don't quite belong and would never be missed if I would have never shown up. I know God gave me my personality for a reason but allot of times I wish he would've made me a person people wanted to be around. Because I am a social person and love getting to know people. It's just that no one seems to want to get to know me. Don't get me wrong, I have some friends and thankfully I have my family (we're a very close family too). It's just that most of my friends are more acquaintances rather than close friends. We're friendly when we see eachother at church, ect. but that's about were it ends. We never get together outside of church and only talk at church. I've tried a few times to do things with people but they always seem to have other plans. They very well could but after several tries it's hard not to think that they just might be avoiding me. I guess I'm just not a fun person to be around. I've been praying about this and have also been praying that the Lord would send someone along that I would click with. I am so grateful for my husband. I can always count on his support and love but I would really like to have some 'girl' friends too. Us girls just need girl friends so we can do girl things together. ;-) There are just some things guys just don't get. Anyway, just thought I'd get this off my chest. I'll get off my soap box now and I'll plan on posting something on the more positive side next time I write. Do you have any thoughts on this? To those who know me personally- be honest, what's my problem? Be nice though because I am sensitive... ;-)

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

It's been awhile...

I thought it was probably time to update my blog. I'm sorry for the lack of posting but the world of Facebook has sucked me in and claimed most of my precious internet time. We've been doing school for some time now and I've been spending my mornings educating my children. The afternoons have been spent either catching up on sleep, cleaning or sewing. Time is even more valuable to me lately. So, unfortunately, blogging has taken a back burner.

In other news, Grant is now 4 1/2 months old! He is now rolling over both ways and laughing and cooing. He has cut two teeth and has started eating bananas (still nursing also) recently. He dropped down into the 50th percentile for his weight but shot up into the 90th for his height. He sleeps 10-12 hours at night- waking up once to eat. He loves his excersaucer and his Bumbo seat. He laughs at his brothers and thinks they're the greatest people ever! He melts mine and his daddy's heart. He has been (and is) such a joy! Grant is one of the greatest surprises God has ever given us! He has added and will continue to add so much to our family.

Noah is going to be 3 next month! He is now fully potty-trained! He had regressed pretty bad for a few days a couple weeks ago. It was awful! It's like he had never been trained! He had about 15 accidents in a matter of two days. I don't know what happened with him that he started messing himself again but I refused to put him back in diapers. It was rough but he did snap out of it. He hasn't had a single wet or poopie accident for 9 days! Go Noah! He is also talking up a storm recently. He was pretty late with talking but seemed to understand everything we said and would respond to us (do what we asked of him, ect.)for quite some time now (since he was a year old). He is by far our most stubborn and strong-willed child (Jonathan coming in a very close second). We've been having discipline issues with him going to bed. This is an issue we've never experienced before with any of our children. They've all been very ,good sleepers and have always stayed in their beds once we laid them down. Until recently that is. It's been hard but hopefully soon he'll decide that getting out of bed just isn't worth it anymore.

Austin is 5 now and has officially started school. He's doing pretty well and was blessed with common sense. He just gets stuff and people always think he is older than what he is. We have been having an issue with him being lazy. He just doesn't like working. This is something that has Tim and I concerned and will be an area that we will be constantly working on with him. I think some of it is due to Austin's laid back personality. The beauty of homeschooling though is that as parents we can spot our children's weaknesses and strengths and focus on those accordingly. It's amazing how we've been able to pin-point some of those already. Each of them are so,so different!

Jonathan is 7 and is doing amazing in school! He's in second grade and is really been taking off in his reading. We have been using a different curriculum and I'm really enjoying it. I think we've found what works best for us and our family. I would greatly encourage anyone who is considering homeschooling to not be afraid to try different curriculum until you find what is best suited for your children. This is just yet another advantage to homeschooling! Anyway, back to Jonathan. He has been praying with Tim every night. His prayers become longer and more sincere as time goes on. He's been asking allot of questions about God, Heaven, Hell, Satan, ect. He has also been asking allot of questions about life in general. His mind is so inquisitive and he is so anxious to learn. Tim and I have always made it known to our children that we encourage them to ask us anything and we will try as hard as we humanly can to answer them. Jonathan takes full advantage of that and asks us just about anything that comes to mind. And yes, he's asked us questions about sensitive subjects. Which we answer as best we can according to his maturity level. he doesn't always understand our answers but we know someday he will. Sometimes Jonathan's question asking habit becomes annoying to people (other than Tim and I). I simply don't understand why. He's just trying to learn, so why discourage him from doing so?! One of Jonathan's favorite shows is Extreme Engineering (Tim watches it with the boys). I'm sure he doesn't understand everything but he sure understands allot more than you'd think a 7 year old could. Jonathan is growing, changing and maturing so quickly. He's such a great helper, hard worker and incredible big brother!

Homeschooling has been going awesome this year! My attitude has changed allot this year and I've been seeing the many benefits of keeping my children at home. The things/time I would miss out on if I sent my children to school is more than I would want for our family. Time is valuable. Also- I feel much better knowing our children are being taught the values we'd like them to be taught. I've also been encouraged to have a few of my friends decide to also teach their children at home this year. I needed the support. Homeschooling can be hard and support is so essential. I'm looking forward to sharing this journey with other fellow, homeschooling mothers. I know homeschooling is not for everyone and I respect that. I believe God will show you what is best for your family. Homeschooling is best for ours. =)

Tim's been at his new place of employment for four months now. He seems to enjoy it and is doing very well there. He's been getting some overtime in and we are truly grateful for that. We still have some catching up to do. We are still slightly skiddish about his position there. Being he's the new guy we don't know if his position would be secure if they had to start laying off again. The only thing we can do is trust in God and take one day at a time. In this we are confident- God will supply all of our needs! He has never ceased to do so before and he won't cease to do so in the future!

I think that pretty much sums up the latest news in our family. Nothing too new and exciting. Hopefully time will free up and I'll be able to post a little bit more frequently.