My Life With Boys

Approaching a New Year

2011-12-27T06:47:00.001-08:00

As I reflect back on the year, 2011, I am amazed at just how much has changed and happened in our lives. Since I haven't written a blog post for awhile I figured I'd write a short post on the happenings of our 2011. For the sake of time and ease of readability, I'll post them in bullets.

Last year at this time Tim was once again without a job. He was able to find a short term resolution and the Lord provided as He always has and does.
Tim started a new job with a different company in January. This allowed him to be home everyday and thus helping with my sanity. ;)
We started seriously thinking about moving south. We had a strong feeling that we did not belong where we were and God was moving our hearts to a different area of the country but to where?!
My dear aunt, Pamela Posternack, passed away. She fought a battle with breast cancer courageously and with determination for several years. Her moments before death were remarkable for all who were with her in those precious last moments of her incredible life. It was a true testimony of God's realness. I was not there but I was told by those who were that is was something they will never forget. I was also told that if you had previously doubted our Savior's existence that you could not after witnessing what they witnessed in that hospital room. Truly incredible!
My mom and stepfather took a trip to North Carolina to go to a Nascar race. On the way there they stopped in Chattanooga, TN. My mom went to a women's conference and ended up befriending the lady who sat next to her. The lady invited them to attend their church that coming Sunday. My mom and stepfather did decide to go to her church on Sunday and were asked out to lunch by a couple there. Once they got talking over lunch they discovered that their daughter and my parent's daughter (me) went to church together in Illinois. My mom told the man that her son-in-law (Tim) just started trucking. The man gave my mom his phone number just in case Tim wanted to contact him in regards to trucking (this man is a truck driver also- has been for years and years). Mom told us the story and this got Tim and I thinking about Chattanooga. We also discovered we already knew some people living in that area. Small world.
Tim and I decided to take a trip to the Chattanooga area and see if we liked it. We flew in the beginning of April. We stayed at the house of the couple who took my parents out for lunch when they had visited the area. We were very grateful for their warm hospitality (we still are!). Over those few days we had a wonderful time of fellowship with some very dear people. It was so refreshing! Tim and I hated leaving but we had 4 boys we needed to get back to.
Tim discovered there was a job opening with the trucking company he was working for in Chattanooga. We prayed about it and decided we wanted to try and see if he could get it. He told the Chattanooga terminal manager that he would like to transfer and he was told he may not be able to because another man wanted the position (he had been with the company longer than Tim). We pretty much decided it probably wasn't God's will. Shortly after, we received word that the man could not take the job at this time and that is was Tim's if he wanted it.
We took a trip to Chattanooga once again to find a rental home. It looked bleak but we ended up finding a small home in a beautiful, safe area the day we were leaving (almost literally on our way home). We discovered that this town has the best school district in Hamilton county. This was a huge answer to prayer since Tim and I had been debating about putting our kids in public school. We were going to homeschool again if the school district we lived in was not decent. This was our answer and we felt an extreme peace about making this huge change in our boys' education.
We came home and quickly start working on finding a tenant for our home. It took a few weeks but eventually we found tenants we felt comfortable with- 3 mature, female, medical students. So far, we have had no problems and they seem to be taking care of our home just as well as we would (if not better).
We packed up and headed out the same day my brother came home from Iraq. God worked it out so I was able to see him before we headed south. The timing really was incredible!
We fought rain the whole way down but we made it safely the next day. (The rain was a blessing in disguise since we soon found out the ac in the car had not been working.)
We got a hotel room since it was too wet and rainy to unpack the truck. The following day we were able to move in.
A month and a half later we discovered we would be adding a new addition to our family. We were a little apprehensive but extremely happy. I started to battle extreme nausea and fatigue. I was kind of a big wimp about it since I had never experienced this with my other pregnancies. My gut was telling me it was because it was a girl but I tried not to let myself believe it.
The boys start public school for the first time! It took Jonathan a few months to adjust but he finally got used to things and now both the boys are doing amazingly well. I could not be happier with our decision to send them to school. Their education is very advanced and they are doing things that they wouldn't have been able to do if they were still being homeschooled. They have greatly excelled in almost all areas! Jonathan has been writing books and reading has become a new passion of his. He has also been improving in his math skills and has done several book reports, ect. Austin's reading has improved greatly and he is getting almost near perfect grades. Austin's 1st grade class just did a project on Australia. They had to research the country every night for a week and answer various questions about the country. The stuff the class did for this project was way beyond 1st grade level but they did it anyway! I was extremely,extremely impressed!
Tim started a new job with a different trucking company once again. This job has been a good move. The pay is better and the benefits are amazing! He originally had to be gone for 5 out of 7 days but that only lasted a month (thank goodness!). He has been on a velocity run now for a few months. He goes to Nashville every night, works the dock for a few hours and then comes back to Chattanooga. This has been great since we are able to see him every day. Life is so much easier when daddy comes home every day!
We went in for a free ultrasound given to me by a friend. We discovered we will be adding a GIRL to our family. I was a bit unsure since I was only 16 1/2 weeks along but it was later confirmed not only once but two times via ultrasound.
My dear grandmother passed away. I was unable to attend her funeral due to lack of finances but my family was still in my thoughts in prayers and I was there in spirit.

We took a trip back to Illinois in November. We had Thanksgiving with family and had a fabulous time! We hope to take another trip up this Summer.
My great Aunt Cleone passed away. It happened quickly and I think it took a lot of us by surprise (it did me anyway). She was a dear woman who loved the Lord greatly. She will be missed but we are so thankful she is free from pain and suffering. She is now in the presence of the Lord!

Well, I pretty much think that sums up our year. Our year has been one of great changes but it has been good. We have had days of sadness but also days of great joy. God has blessed us beyond what we deserve. We have developed many new friendships recently and we desire that those friendships will only deepen as time goes one. We are very confident that we are where God wants us and we couldn't be happier. We have been attending a wonderful church with wonderful people. We just wish we lived closer (it's 70 miles round trip). We hope to move from our mountain home after school is done. We need to be closer to everything/everyone! So yes, this year has been pretty crazy/great! We are hoping that 2012 will be just as wonderful. We know it will not be free of trials and hardships but among them will be blessings and good times too. We hope your year was a great one too...we wish you many blessings in the year 2012! ( I wish I had some pics to share but my camera is broken and we still have to fix it. Hopefully it will be fixed before baby comes!)

25 1/2 weeks

2011-12-14T14:06:00.001-08:00

25 1/2 weeks- taken Sunday. (I really need to get my camera fixed!!!!)

Update on Baby Girl

2011-11-23T05:42:00.000-08:00

I figured I should get on here and blog...something. I always have thoughts running through my head but I don't always have the easiest time putting them all into writing. I am just not gifted that way. Nothing really earth shattering has happened so there's not a whole lot to post about. I had my 20 weeks scan a couple weeks ago and everything seemed fine. I didn't care for the tech I had. She was quick and didn't communicate anything me the whole time. I had to read what she was writing on the screen to even get an idea of what she was looking at. She seemed uninterested, unexcited, annoyed and cranky that she even had to be giving me an ultrasound. Like I was a nuisance or something. Which is sad, since we are paying for that ultrasound! I never had a good tech with my last pregnancy either. I don't understand why it's so hard for people to just be friendly! I hate when I feel like I am just a number/another patient and not an actual person. Anyway, a week before that I had my first appointment with my midwife. She seemed nice enough. Maybe a little nervous or shy? Which was surprising to me but she seemed fine. The nurses were very kind though. I appreciated that. They were also the first ones to NOT make me take a gestational diabetes test on my first appointment. With my last three pregnancies they have made me take the test when I told them the size of my babies. Even after telling them I have never tested positive for diabetes. Oh well, I'm not one to argue so I always agree to it. No big deal...I know it's going to come back fine (and it always has!). I have my next appointment next week. I am afraid of how much weight I will have gained between my visits. I tend to gain around 5 pounds a month. I hate it but it seems to be out of my control. I just gain a lot of weight when I'm pregnant...usually about 40-55 pounds. It's insane! Thankfully, it doesn't take me too long to lose it. Within a month I usually only have about 10 pounds to go. Within 2-3 months I'm usually 3-5 pounds from pre-pregnancy weight. I hope it will be the same way this time too. I can't afford to have the extra pounds stay! In fact, I would like to be more fit than I was when I got pregnant with this baby. Anyway, that's a whole other post for another day. I will post some pictures of my most recent ultrasound. Sadly, we didn't get a whole lot of really good shots. Once again, the tech didn't seem to care or take the time to even try to get me any good pictures. Go figure...
Girl!

Foot

The front of her stomach and face.
You can see her ribs, arms and part of her head. (This one is from my 17 week scan at the clinic)

Feeding a Large Family on a Budget?

2011-10-26T06:48:00.000-07:00

Ok...so we finally implemented a budget for our family. It something I have been putting off and avoiding. I will admit, it was not a fin thing to do BUT now I know exactly how much we have and where it is supposed to be going. Kind of cramps my style but I now know we will have enough money to cover all our expenses and that does relieve some of my stress. Anyway, I have been trying my hardest to find cheap, creative, delicious meals. I have been finding my recipes online and making a detailed list before grocery shopping every week. I still end up spending at least $140 every week! It's sickening to me since I know families our size that are living on $100 a week for groceries. Now granted, this usually does include all our paper products, toiletries, ect. Still though, the less I spend on food, the more I would have for paying off bills or saving. I have been wanting to join Costco because I think that would help us save a little but we are waiting to have the extra $$ for the membership fee. I also only do meat about 2x's a week and make a lot of things from scratch. I thought I'd give you an example of what we eat for dinner.
Here was this weeks menu:
Saturday: Mac N' Cheese and hot dogs (not the healthiest but it was requested by all my boys)
Sunday: Beef and broccoli with rice
Monday: Rice and bean burritos and salad
Tuesday: Sausage, biscuits and gravy (once again, not healthy but so cheap and easy!)
Wednesday: Beef and noodles and a salad
Thursday: Cream of mushroom soup and homemade bread/rolls
Friday: Rice and bean casserole
Saturday: Harvest party =)

Our breakfast consists of either bagels, cold cereal or apples with p.butter. I'll sometimes do baked oatmeal or pancakes but that is a special treat and doesn't happen very often. Especially since we wake up early and usually only have 30 minutes before leaving to take the kids to school. Lunches are usually p.butter and honey sandwiches, chips and fruit or veggies. I almost always run out of breakfast and lunch foods...drives me crazy! Yet, we have a budget and I would panic if we went over it. I'm strange like that. Anyway, if you could share with me what you do to keep your food costs down that would be really helpful! I will take any suggestions!

Also- I am thinking of doing video vlogs soon...I can't stand my voice on camera but oh well, it still might be fun! ;) I also thought of chronicling my pregnancy with videos, ect. We'll see...now that I am getting my energy back maybe I'll be more motivated to get it done?!

Extra Money

2011-10-19T07:59:00.000-07:00

It seems we never have enough of it (extra money, that is). I feel my place is at home BUT I also feel like I need to contribute financially some how...some way. I have been racking my brain trying to figure out exactly how I can do that. I know how to sew BUT I really do not want to sew diaper bags, ect. to sell. It takes the fun out of it and honestly, diaper bags can be a pain to make. If something goes wrong then it really goes wrong. Clothes are even worse. You have fittings, ect. to worry about and it's just ick. I almost feel like you can't get your moneys worth out of it. No one would pay me what I would ask if I did it full time. Sewing takes a lot of time and concentration. I guess now with my two older boys in school it would be easier for me to fit it into my schedule but I'm just not sure if I decided to go that route what I would even want to sew. It would have to be something that is easy to cut out and put together but very desirable to customers too. I see some of the products offered by some stay-at-home moms and I am intimidated. Wow, there are some talented moms out there! I do have an embroidery machine so I could personalize things. I could maybe do a package of burp rags, hats and slipper shoes? Something along those lines....maybe even put it all in a homemade bag? Hmm....just trying to figure something out. Since my energy is coming back I have found that I am itching to do something! Tim and I sat down and did our budget (thank you, Dave Ramsey) Monday and we are tight...so,so tight and even just a little money would help us out tremendously! I need suggestions, ideas, motivation and encouragement! I do not have the option of working outside the home right now (especially with baby joining us soon) and so my only option would be to find something at home that I could do. If you have any ideas...at all...let me know! I consider anything...well, almost anything! ;)

I See PINK in My Near Future!

2011-10-18T07:34:00.000-07:00

As I am sure you saw from the below post...we are having a GIRL!!!! We couldn't be more excited about this little answer to our prayers. Tim has been praying with the boys before bed for over a year for a little sister for them. It looks like the Lord has heard and answered our prayer with a YES! My friend and I went to our local pregnancy center ( we have a mutual friend who works there) and I was able to have a free ultrasound done. My friend (the ultrasound tech) is not an expert at gender prediction (she was trained on measurements, ect. but not predicting gender) and was a little nervous about saying what baby was...hence the hesitation on her part. She did a fabulous job though and got some very good shots between baby girl's legs. I have become quite the pro at seeing boy parts and I know I did NOT see any boy parts on this baby. We were obsessed with seeing the 'lines' (which we did see). I still will not rest easy until I can confirm again that she is ,indeed, really a girl. I did come home and compare her 'between the legs' shots with online ultrasound photos of baby girls and they were identical. So, yes, I am pretty positive we have our girl. Upon discovering this I have been on the search for girl names. Boy names have always come alot easier for me and so this has been a bit more difficult than my previous pregnancies. I think Tim and I have decided not to share the names we have chosen just to limit the negative input. It seems Tim and I must like weird names because no on seems to like them very much. Oh well, they will get used to it after awhile.

On a ever-so-slightly different note...this pregnancy is so completely different than my boys' pregnancies were. I am carrying much wider (in my stomach) than the boys. My belly with them stuck straight out and was more basketball in shape. I also gained a little more quickly in my legs with my boys where as with baby girl I am gaining on my sides (aka love handles...which I have never had until now). I showed quicker with my boys and I felt overall pretty good while pregnant with the boys. With this baby I have felt AWFUL! I can truly sympathize with pregnant women who get sick now. My complexion is also very bad right now. With the boys it had cleared up by this point. It's definitely true with me that gender makes a difference in my pregnancies.

Anyway, sorry to bore you with another baby post. I would love to take and post pictures more often BUT my camera's card reader is broken and we don't have the finances, at this point, to get it fixed. Once we do, I will be snapping pictures like crazy! My boys have grown and changed so much in the last few months and I feel like I am missing it all!

Baby #5 ;)

2011-10-13T20:41:00.000-07:00

16 weeks...

2011-10-06T09:11:00.000-07:00

15 1/2 weeks...

2011-10-03T06:27:00.001-07:00

I'm not gonna lie...I am dying to know what the gender of this baby is! It's even harder now since I know if we took a peek 'inside' we would be able to see. I would actually be surprised if it's another boy BUT I am not positive it's not. The only reasons why I think it could be a girl are because...
1.) I was much bigger at this point with all my boys.
2.) I can still wear my regular jeans (always stopped wearing regular pants by 10-11 weeks with my others).
3.) I am carrying much higher and wider with this pregnancy.
4.) I was SICK with this pregnancy and I still gag and get nauseous sometimes. I didn't even gag with my last couple pregnancies and felt great! Not so much with this one...ick.
5.) The baby's heart rate is is super fast and not slow and steady like my others were (minus Noah's).
6.) We prayed for over a year for a baby girl.
7.) I can not think of any boy's names this time!
8.) I keep calling the baby 'she' without even realizing what I am saying.
9.) I had a dream it was a girl BUT I did have a dream that it was a boy too...so who knows?!
10.) My husband keeps saying he thinks it's a girl.
Anyway, these are a 'few' reasons why I think it may be a girl this time BUT we will gladly accept and take a boy too! I have told myself over and over that I will not be one of those women who cry when they find out they're having the opposite gender of what they had wanted. Ultimately, God will give us what he thinks is best for our family and we will rejoice for the addition to our family....no matter the gender!

We're Growing

2011-09-11T17:33:00.000-07:00

12 1/2 weeks...

(My camera is broken right now. I have had to resort to my video camera.)

Too Long...

2011-09-09T07:22:00.000-07:00

I have totally failed at this whole blogging thing again. I guess I could blame it all on the many HUGE changes in our life BUT I won't. The fact is this, I have been lazy, unmotivated and uninspired. The thought of blogging just hasn't appealed to me. It's just another thing to think about, another thing to do and frankly, blogging (or writing) takes too much brain power for me most days. Usually by the end of the day, I am done thinking. I like to zone out in my 'spare' time. Zoning out does not include blogging. Therefor blogging has been pushed to the back burner and forgotten about. Of course, many things have happened in the months since I have blogged. It will probably take several posts to write all about our many changes. Some very, big changes and some small but many, many changes! I will get to all that eventually. Right now, I don't even know where to start or how to start. Sigh. Well, I have to start somewhere so I guess I'll start by telling you that we moved 700 miles south in June. Tim and I had always wanted to move south somewhere, someday but we didn't know where or when. Through many different circumstances and opportunities that presented themselves to us we chose to move to Tennessee. We took it step by step and asked God's guidance for every decision we made. God made it clear to us in many ways that this was the place where He wanted us. I was pretty sad to leave our house behind (we are renting it out) but I knew I'd be happier going where God wanted us. We moved the 17th of June and drove the 700 miles in two days. It was an experience but we made it to our new, temporary home safe and sound. Things went pretty smoothly with the move. Yes, it was stressful BUT we saw God's hand in it all and He provided and guided us in a way you would only believe if you experienced it yourself. We have been settling into our new home/area quite nicely and we are excited about the friendships that God has already given us. The boys are in school now. We came to this decision after many, many months of prayer. There are many reason why we decided to go this route but I won't get into all of them right now. The boys seem to be doing great and I am pleased with the academic level of the school they are in. It's even higher than when we were homeschooling. They are also learning skills that I did not have the capability or time to teach them. I am not saying we will never homeschool again. I am only saying that for this year I needed the break. Only God knew that I would need it this year more than ever too because He has decided to bless us with another child. Yes, it's true, we found out in July that we are expecting again. (Phew! Glad I got that move done first!) Tim, the boys and I have been praying for a little girl for over a year now so our prayer and desire is for a precious, little, girl baby BUT we will gladly accept another boy if God so chooses to give us another. We are anxious for his/her arrival...due around March 22nd! So thankful for the opportunity to be a mother again and to raise another child for His honor and glory! Well, I have lots to do (including feeding the boys and taking a nap) so I will end this post here. I have more to share so I will try to post again soon!

Happy Easter!

2011-04-24T17:28:00.001-07:00

Lost in a Sea of Green

2011-03-22T07:02:00.000-07:00

('Glimpse' of the flower girl dress...)
I am here...just busy sewing. I am doing bridesmaid dresses for a wedding in May and I have been trying to get them 'mostly' done by this coming Saturday. The bride is having her bridal shower and all the bridesmaids will be in town at the same time. I am seizing the opportunity and getting all their final fittings done at the same time. I have not had enough time to sit and write a blog post due to the increase in all my sewing projects. I used to think that I wouldn't like to 'have' to sew for people but now that I have several projects to do I am rather enjoying it. I have gotten into quite the routine. I cut out projects during nap time and then sew after the kids go to bed (usually between 8:30-10:30). I am able to accomplish a lot within those two hours. I can usually put a whole dress together in that amount of time. I am getting a lot more accomplished than I thought possible. Anyway, after I am finished with the dresses I have several diaper bags order to complete and a few other small projects. It's been keeping my mind and hands busy and my moral up to have something to do. I am kind of hoping the projects keep coming. Need me to sew you something? ;-)

Things That Make Me Smile

2011-03-01T17:31:00.000-08:00

Warm, cozy slippers and pink, striped pajama pants...

My beautiful baby sister...

A bowl of bright,green fruit sitting on the table...

Happy boys doing school...

Contentment

2011-03-01T09:57:00.000-08:00

It's amazing...just how content one can be...when they 'choose' to be...content. I remember not too long ago how I struggled with this very thing. About a year or so ago I was struggling with my role as mother and wife. I felt I was above this simple role and that I was meant for something more. I was falling into the trap that the world has set. The lie that being a mother and wife is not enough. That ,as a woman, I have the right to be happy. I had the right to be something 'important'. That being a full time mother was something that only the uneducated and lazy women do. I didn't realize just how important my role as wife and mother was or how much being home will and has impacted my children's lives. My being home and giving my full attention and time to my boys is telling them that they are important. That they are worth the investment. That they are worth my sacrifice and selflessness. Since embracing my role I have become quite content, happy and satisfied with my job as wife and mother. I have opened new eyes to the importance of my existence and have seen the benefits of my constant presence in my boys' lives. I have changed my attitude and it has changed my overall happiness. I now find great fulfillment in cleaning, cooking, baking, doing the laundry, teaching my children daily and being my children's constant source of comfort and love. I still have my days but they are fewer and farther between. I have turned my focus on the blessings in my life and have tried to keep a positive attitude about the negatives in my life. I do have to say that the more I see the positive the less I see the negative. Yes, life is not always a bed of roses and I know the hard times are not over but when I keep a positive outlook those hard times aren't as despairing as they could be. I also know that I will always struggle with my human desire to be more....accomplish more...make a name for myself and have an 'identity'. For now though some dreams, goals and desires of mine will have to wait. My kids are more important. They need me, they need my attention and time. They are only kids for a short time. I will have plenty of time to fulfill those dreams of mine...when they are grown and gone....fulfilling their dreams.

(I do not judge anyone that has to work outside the home. Just because I don't doesn't mean that it's for everyone. Everyone has different circumstances, ect. impacting their decision to stay home or work.)

Waiting...

2011-02-23T08:48:00.000-08:00

Patience has never been something I was blessed with. Yes, I must admit I may have a bit more than some people. I do have four boys after all! In the grand scheme of life though I was not blessed with a large amount of it. I remember, as a child, sitting in Sunday school listening to my teacher tell the story of Jacob and how he wanted to marry Rachel. He was willing to work seven years in order to have her. I was in awe that someone would be that patient in order to marry someone they loved. I was then even more awed when he was given Leah (Rachel's older sister) after his 7 years were up. He once again agreed to work 7 more years to get Rachel. Talk about dedication and patience...wow! Fourteen years of waiting and working for the woman he loved! Anyway, I remember thinking there is NO way I could wait that long. Of course, I was a child so seven years seemed like an eternity to me! Now, seven years is still a long time but not quite as long as it seemed then. Anyway, the point is this...I am not very patient! The funny thing about this is that God has consistently been putting things in our life that has caused us to be patient and wait on Him. This is not easy for me. I know God knows my weakness and He has been trying to teach me for years now. He has caused me to wait many times. I have been 23 days late with having a baby. I have had 24+ hour labors. We have gone 1-2 months without paychecks. We have been un-employed for 6 months at a time. We have lived in a camper trailer for 8 months. We have lived in a basement apartment for 5 years. We struggled with a failing business for years. We've had a baby with failure to thrive and did not receive answers as to why he did not grow. (We never did get a reason as to why he had the problems he did. He was just healed...I think God performed a miracle. The doctors are still baffled to this day.) We have a son with Aspergers. My husband has had to make several job changes and even a complete career change. We have lived our married life waiting, trusting and leaning on God. We are constantly looking to Him for answers to our questions and for guidance for our next steps, choices and paths we take. We have found ourselves once again in 'limbo'. Waiting for Him to tell us what we should do. We are unsettled with some current circumstances yet so many things need to take place before we make another move. Things need to happen but only God can make them happen. We don't know what we should do and how we should go about doing it. We need answers and once again are turning to God to give them to us. We do not want to make hasty decisions and be out of God's will. We only want what he wants....but what does he want? This is the question we have been asking Him a lot lately. Lord, show us what to do...we are willing and able. We only need the green light. I know sometimes God's path for our lives is not the path we would've chosen. My husband would have never chosen to be a truck driver (he was a custom woodworker). We would have never chosen to have a son with Aspergers (that child has been an incredible source of joy to us). Our life has taken so many twists and turns it's unbelievable. Yet, I see God's hand in it all. He has been there every step of the way. He has held our hands through out it all. He has heard our prayers and given us the desires of our hearts. Now though, we find ourselves at a spot where we are left trusting in Him again. He will give us an answer...in His time. Until then...we will keep praying, trusting and waiting. We are being given a lesson in patience...again.

20 Things

2011-02-15T09:55:00.001-08:00

I saw this on a couple of my friends' blogs and I thought it looked like fun. Plus, since I do not have much else to post about I thought I would do this just so I could post something!

20 Things I do NOT miss:
1. Braces
2. Puberty and the hormones that go with it
3. Dating- especially because we had supervised dating
4. Mom's Saturday cleaning days
5. Goulash
6. White bean soup (blach!)
7. Early bedtime
8. Culottes!
9. The 90's and the frumpy clothing fashions
10. Being poor....oh, wait...we still are! ;-)
11. Being in the hospital with a sick baby
12. Drama...oh wait, that still happens too... =/
13. Being in our own business
14. Living in a camper trailer for 8 months (even though the mice sure loved living there!)
15. Swollen feet (due to pregnancy)
16. Watching my father struggle for every breath he took
17. Being so sunburned my whole face blisters
18. Tent camping (especially in the rain)
19. The aftermath of getting wisdom teeth extracted
20. Dial up internet

20 things I DO miss:
1. My dad
2. My Grandfather
3. My Aunt Pam (yes, she passed. I will write about it soon.)
4. Not having to worry about bills, finances, ect.
5. Spending a week at a time with my cousins
6. Camping and tromping through the woods for HOURS
7. Crawdad fishing with my cousins
8. Late Sunday nights at my house with our best friends 'line dancing'
9. Sleepovers
10. Delivering a baby and getting to know a new little person
11. Pregnancy and the excitement that surrounds such an awesome experience
12. A newborn baby and the way they smell and melt right into you when you hold them
13. Vacations
14. Late night talks with my sisters
15. Eating whatever/whenever and never gaining a pound
16. Being a size 2-4
17. SUMMER!
18. Swimming in a creek at family reunions with my cousins
19. Water balloon fights!!!!
20. Picking strawberries from our garden when I was a kid

(I realize that almost all the things I miss involve my childhood. Fortunately, I had a wonderful childhood. Thanks to God and my wonderful parents!)

We Survived

2011-02-03T09:14:00.000-08:00

I have had allot going on in my life and have been wanting to blog about some of it. I just don't know how to explain it all in words. So, I have avoided blogging until I can sort everything out in my head. So much on my mind, so much to think about and so much to pray about. So many things I want to write but no way of knowing how to put things delicately. So I will leave you with these pictures of our recent blizzard. It so insane that my sister ,who lives 60 miles south of us, had thundersnow! We might have had some too but Tim and I were watching a movie and might not have heard it. Anyway, we got quite a bit of snow. It came up to about Grant's chest/neck. It took Tim a couple of hours to get our driveway cleared of it all! It was just crazy...I don't think I have ever experienced something like it before! By the way, I am So ready for Spring! All this snow is for the birds!

Check this video out! We live about 80 miles west of Chicago. This gives you a pretty good idea of just how much snow we got! Just crazy...

There is...

2011-01-29T20:58:00.000-08:00

...a woman.
A woman who is a mom.
A mom that birthed ten, beautiful children.
A mom that kissed those children when they were hurting, sick, healthy and happy.
A mom who loved to cook. A mom who cooked with love.
A mom who encouraged her children to make the right decisions and be all they could be.
A mom who sat on the sidelines cheering her children on during a sports game.
A mom who covered up her exhaustion and pain so she could still be a mom without her children worrying.
A mom who would rather care for others instead of being cared for.
A mom who inspired and uplifted her children.
A mom who created children who wanted to be just like her.
There is a woman...a woman who is a daughter.
A daughter that loved and adored her parents.
A daughter who took in her ailing father during his last days.
A daughter who thought first of her parents then herself.
A daughter who always put family first.
There is a woman....a woman who is a sister.
A sister that loved and adored her older siblings.
A sister to share clothes with.
A sister to confide in.
A sister to cry with.
A sister to laugh with.
A sister to fight with.
A sister who is also a friend.
There is a woman...this woman is an aunt.
This woman is my aunt.
There is a woman...this woman has cancer.
This woman has been given a short time to live.
This woman is leaving us with wonderful memories of her.
This woman is amazing.
This woman is strong.
This woman has lived a full life.
This woman has left her mark on this world.
This woman will always be loved and will never be forgotten.
My beautiful Aunt Pam (second from the left) with three of her daughters.
(Please keep her family in your prayers.)
I love you Aunt Pam!

2011-01-28T10:33:00.000-08:00

Grant's favorite thing to do (hands down) is EAT!
This seat (pictured below) is his favorite seat in the house.
When he is put in this seat it means he is going to be eating in the near future.
So, he gets very excited when we tell him to climb up into his favorite seat.
Yep, my baby likes his food.

He loves bananas, pasta, peanut butter sandwiches, cereal....
...apples, oranges, carrots, tacos, fish, chicken, enchiladas....
...grapes, corn, mashed potatoes, meatloaf, rice, casseroles, cucumbers...
...well, and basically anything else put in front of him...
...because you see, my baby boy loves FOOD!

Boys Drink Tea Too

2011-01-26T11:33:00.000-08:00

When you have a fever and sore throat hot tea is a must!
A perfect cup of tea (in my humble opinion) is first made with water heated in a kettle.
And then a 'Bedtime Stories' tea bag is added to the hot water.
Let it steep for a few minutes.
Add a generous amount of honey.
And let the steaming liquid sooth your sore, aching throat.
My boys like to sip theirs like little, old ladies. ;-)

New Therapy

2011-01-26T09:28:00.000-08:00

Hi, my name is Sarah.

I am a young mother to four, high-energy boys.
My husband is a truck driver who just recently started a new job. He is now working third shift BUT he is now home everyday. Yay, for more husband time!
I am busy...but I am also slightly lazy. Mostly due to being a very low-stress, laid back kind of person.
I like my down time.
I get stressed since my boys are so high-energy. So, I need therapy.
I have decided I will try and write down more of my thoughts, daily struggles and/or victories!
I want to share more of my dreams, desires, goals or just write down something funny my kids told me that day.
I have some silly boys.
I am going to try to blog at least three times a week.
I am fore-warning you though.
I am random.
I am not a writer.
I may have grammatical errors more often than not.
I am just a mom.
A mom who needs therapy.
Cheap therapy.
So blogging is going to be this mom's outlet.
You can choose to read....or you can choose not too.
Doesn't really matter to me since this is just an outlet and I am doing this for my sanity. That's all.
Some days I may write a lot and some days it may only be a sentence...a word...or a picture. I don't know...depends on my mood, my thoughts or the circumstances in my life.
I need no outside reassurance...just a place to write down what's going on in my head.
So go ahead and read...if you want to...but just remember, I have warned you!

I am...

2011-01-25T09:16:00.001-08:00

...wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend, teacher, maid, cook, nurturer, believer and overall household executive.
I laugh, love, cry, care and hurt like anybody else but most of all I have been searching. Searching for answers to my searching- only wanting to do what God wants me to do.
Seeking His will for my life.
Praying that in His time all my searching will lead to me finding His will for my life.
He knows what I need...He knows what is best.
He knows my desires, dreams, goals and hopes.
He knows my innermost thoughts and silent prayers.
He knows me better than I know myself.
He is the source of my comfort and my peace.
He alone can fulfill my searching with answers only He can give.
I take rest in knowing He knows.
I want only what He wants for me and my family.
So I seek His face daily.
I trust that in His perfect timing my searching will be done and my questions will be answered.

"Delight Thyself also in the Lord;and He shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in Him; and He shall bring it to pass." Psalm 37: 4-5

Measurements...

2011-01-21T09:46:00.000-08:00

Everything has remained the same measurement-wise. My drop waist is an inch smaller (30") and my true waist (smallest part) is a comfortable 26.5". Unfortunately, my arms are the same (10.75") BUT there is no flab hanging down anymore. They have become more built and toned...which I am liking! I have been consistently exercising every day for about 45-60 minutes and my body may not be shrinking much but it is getting healthier and more toned. =) Now, if I could only lose those 5 extra pounds! By the way, is it true that it will take awhile to lose actual weight or do you think I will just be stuck around 128-130 because of the added muscle? I would love to lose it (my goal is 123-125) but I just don't know if it will be possible....I guess I will just have to wait and see. ;-)

20 months...

2011-01-17T11:11:00.001-08:00

4 short months until my baby turns 2!
Please, baby boy, slow down. I love everything baby that remains in you. All too quickly though you are losing that little amount of baby that's left.
You are a very passionate little man that tries your very best to keep up with your brothers.
You are very interested in the toilet and you already tell me when your diaper needs to be changed. I foresee potty training in your near future.
Mealtime is your favorite time of day and you are not a picky eater. You'll eat almost anything I place in front of you!
You love your brothers,mommy and daddy very much!
Your favorite things to say are, "I wan mo(I want more)", "U welcome", "Uh-oh", "Got poo", "I wan out", "Let go", "I wuv u", "Where is?", "What that?" and "Wooooow".
You are quickly picking up on a lot of new phrases and words.
You LOVE your 'bankie' and your thumb. You cry if you are without your blanket.
You love movies and you can sit through a 2 hour movie totally engrossed the whole time (sucking your thumb, of course!).
You think dancing is great fun!
You are a great wall artist. ;-)
You are LOADED with personality!
I love seeing you grow into the amazing little person you are becoming but baby boy, please slow down!

Health Update

2011-01-14T08:02:00.000-08:00

I am slightly disappointed because there isn't much change in my body from last week to this week even though I have been consistently keeping up on my exercise regime. My weight has not changed (129 this morning...boo!) and the only measurement that has changed is my thighs. They are now 20.5 instead of 21. My arms went down .25" also. So nothing earth shattering here. My caloric intake has remained about the same. I didn't find the need to lower it since I have added exercising. Since I do at least an hour of active exercising a day I am burning a good amount of calories and don't think it would be wise to lower my food intake. I usually eat anywhere from 1000 to 1800 calories a day (probably over 2000 on holidays/family gatherings). Most days I would say it falls around 1500 calories. Anyway, I may not have much weight to lose. I am 27 now and my muscles are a lot larger (especially my arms/biceps) than when I weighed 115-123. I'll keep trying but I am not holding my breath. I have several things going against me- 1. age 2. slower metabolism 3. constant upper body toning from being a mom (child lifting, laundry basket carrying, household work, grocery bag carrying,ect.). I know my mom was in optimum health and fitness when I was younger and she was usually around 130-135 (we are the exact same height). Not an ounce of fat on her. She was/is just a very toned person. She has always done toning exercises and walking. She has always loved her food though! I actually think I eat less than she used too. ;-) I will check back next week. I hope I can at least lose some inches. Tim told me last night that I looked smaller and he can tell I have been working out. Hmmm....well, the scale and the tape measure don't say that I am (smaller)! Ha,ha...oh well, better luck next week!

The Post Where I Share All

2011-01-07T11:53:00.000-08:00

Yes, once again it has been awhile. Frankly, I haven't had a whole lot of motivation to do much of anything let alone, blog. I want to change that too. I need to come up with some sort of system for our life. I hate schedules (as I recently blogged about) but I know I need to have at least some sort of 'flexible' schedule or system for which we live. I have been battling depression and have had very little energy or desire to do anything. I have been doing the bare necessities just to get us by. Even that has been taking a tole on me.I don't know if it's due partly to being overwhelmed or just being lazy. Tim is gone a lot and almost all the parenting and ALL of the housework, schooling, grocery shopping, ect. is on my shoulders. It's not Tim's fault. It's what he has had to do in order to bring in an income. I knew it was going to be hard. I just have my days of feeling downright exhausted! It's hard being a mom to four but even harder being a mostly, single (except for Saturday and part of Sunday), homeschooling mother to four BOYS! Being cooped up in the house doesn't help matters either. Anyway, I said all that to say this- I need to start implementing a routine and start taking care of my self- physically and spiritually! I think my only way of doing that is to have some sort of flexible schedule or at least always fitting in my devotions and exercising. It's been a long time since I have done the later. 'Cause frankly, I hate walking on the treadmill! My Wii fit game was also broken by one of the boys so I didn't even have that to do. This week I was able to buy a pre-owned Wii fit game and Tim bought me 'Just Dance' for the Wii last night. I was able to do about an hour of that (Just Dance) today and it felt good to be moving again! I have decided that I will be putting up my progress here for all to see. I think this may help me remain committed to my exercising- especially if I see improvement! I need this in my life. I haven't been taking care of my body and honestly, it shows. Things need to change and they will! Tim told me I should write down my measurements somewhere. So I have decided I will post them here and see if anything changes by next week. I am usually not one for sharing my measurements or weight but I need to be accountable to something or someone so here is where they will be- for millions to see. (YIKES!) So here goes...

Weight- 01/07/11
5'6"
128-129 (I weighed myself with wet hair and clothes on)

Measurements- 01/07/11
Chest- 30.5" (slightly embarrassing)
Waist- 26.5" (at smallest part) 31" (at drop waist-largest part)
Hips- 38" (at widest part) 36.5" (at smallest part)
Thighs- 21"
Arms- 10.75" (my arms are fairly built just from doing mom duties)

This is where I would eventually like to see myself in a month or two:
Weight- 120-123 (this is not un-realistic since I weighed 115 after having my second baby and did not look un-healthy)
I really don't have a goal for measurements since I have never really charted them before. My main goal is to see the inches going down and to lose about 5-8 pounds. Nothing major just improvement. By the way, I am a healthy eater and have never been one for crazy diets! My only change here would be to not eat after 7-8ish in the evening and going to bed earlier and waking up earlier! Other than that I have already made changes to my diet (as in- only drinking water, taking vitamins and eating more raw food and less sweets) and don't need to change a whole lot more.

I know there are some who would disagree with posting such information but I need to do this for my own motivation. I may be wide in the hips and now everyone will know exactly how wide but who cares? I have had big,healthy babies (11.8, 10.4, 8.6 and 9.14- all born natural) and God probably made me that way for that very reason! It's the way I am built and I am beginning to accept it. May not be your typical body shape but it is what it is. I will try to track my progress every Friday. So, you can choose to read or skip over my Friday posts if they happen to bore you. ;-)

2010-12-24T07:32:00.001-08:00

Merry Christmas from our family to yours! May you have a blessed holiday season!

Organization and scheduling...

2010-11-29T15:37:00.000-08:00

The above two things are things I am not good at.
1: I hate to organize because the boys only de-organize it 10 minutes later (give or take a few).
2: I like my flexibility.
Yep there, I said it. I like to be flexible. I hate scheduling things because then I feel pressured. I think a lot of my feeling this way is partly due (or all due) to my growing up in a fairly flexible schedule. We woke up 'around' the same time everyday and started school whenever we got around to starting it. Sometimes that would be 7:30 in the morning and sometimes it would be 5 at night. We always got our school done though....even if it meant doubling up. I kind of run on the same 'schedule'. We wake up 'around' the same time and start school when we can. We always get are school done though....I am very strict about that. No skipping school and if we do, we double (or triple) up to catch up....or get ahead. I make meals at various times of the day...but we always eat three times a day. I always shower...sometime during the day and I brush my teeth and wash my face at least twice. Couldn't say at what time I do this all but I always get it done. I usually do laundry on Monday-Tuesday and then don't do any laundry until the next week. I deep clean the bathrooms every 1-2 weeks and I wipe down between deep cleanings. I always keep my kitchen clean- dirty dishes is my pet peeve and something I do not tolerate! I do not always make my bed. I wear my pajamas almost every day...clean pajamas that is. The boys take baths/showers twice a week....whether they need it or not (which they usually do by that point). The boys go to bed between 7-9- usually closer to the earlier bedtime. I go to bed...when I go to bed. I know, I know, some of you would probably die if you lived such a lenient schedule. Some people thrive on schedules. I am not sure if I would or not. I might do ok on a more strict schedule but then again, I may feel the pressure closing in on me when I can't get everything done on my schedule or in the time allotted. The later is what I have experienced when I give a schedule a try (due to my husband's encouragement). I start panicking when I can't fulfill my schedule and I give up on it...since all it did was stress me out anyway. I am also not a very good list maker. I have tried and tried and TRIED to make lists for grocery shopping but I always fail to put something on my list! So then, I think...what is the point of a list if I still forget stuff?! (By the way, I am still doing the list thing.) Anyway, I was wondering if you do a schedule and what works for you...I guess you could say we have a very flexible schedule...since we do about the same thing everyday....around the same time. ;-)

Food Matters

2010-11-23T06:26:00.000-08:00

For about 5 years now I have struggled with feeling fatigued,wore out and just plain awful. I have also dealt with parts of my body going numb, sore hips and joints, heart palpitations and a host of other mysterious 'symptoms'. I was always concerned something was seriously wrong with me but chalked it all up to being a mom and stress. Lately though it had been getting ridiculous. Cutting out wheat and gluten had helped my stomach issues but I was still feeling wore out,irritable and just blah. Well, the other day I bought myself a bottle of multi-vitamins and starting taking those, Emergen-C and a pill for my thyroid (all natural- suggested to me by my chiropractor). I have also stopped drinking my beloved coffee since reading that caffeine activates your adrenal glands which then releases stress hormones. I figured I could do without the extra stress hormones so I cut it out cold turkey. (So far no headaches!) I have felt SOOOOO amazing! I have had so much energy the last two days I don't know what to do with it all!!! I even got up around 7:30 this morning (I went to bed at 12:30-I wasn't tired until then) and I felt wide awake when I woke up! Incredible! I have gotten so much done the last couple of days. Example: yesterday I washed,folded and put away all laundry (including the shower curtain), I went through the sock basket and matched all socks, I filled in nail holes and painted over them, I cleaned the laundry room, made the kids three meals, did school with the boys and even wrote a blog post! I know it doesn't seem like a lot but I was going all day long and didn't even feel tired! It was great! I plan on doing just as much today. Anyway my point is this: I think I was severely undernourished. After watching this movie I am convinced.

It all makes so much sense! Unfortunately, as was said in this movie, "There isn't any money in health". So many illnesses (including cancer) are not treated with nutrition (vitamin therapy) and/or healthy eating habits. Doctors and big drug companies would be in big trouble if we were all healthy! They make huge money off of the sick! Think about it...really think about it. And remember- you can choose what goes into your body! You can choose to live a healthy life! I have and today I will be going out and buying a huge amount of raw food (fresh fruit,veggies, nuts and grains)! We already eat fairly healthy just not as much as I would prefer. I am also going to buy some more vitamin supplements. I have felt so amazing and I don't want this feeling of being so ALIVE to go away! If you have the time- check this video out. It's amazing what can be completely cured when you eat right!

Going Gluten Free

2010-11-21T20:55:00.000-08:00

We have decided to go completely gluten/wheat free in our home. (Partly due from the doctor running a celiac test on Noah...still haven't gotten the results back from that and from Noah's autism diagnosis) It has been an adjustment but it has been a good adjustment. It has also been quite the challenge to figure out what has gluten in it and what does not. Gluten is in SO much but thankfully there are a lot of gluten free products coming out. I think because of the rise of celiac and autism. Betty Crocker's (Click on the link for more info) gluten free brownies are amazing (seriously better than the regular boxed brownies) and so is the cake!!! I have also found a wonderful baking/pancake mix from Pamela's Products. They have a large amount of recipes on their website. So far we have made- pancakes, biscuits, chicken and dumplings, chocolate chunk cookies and pumpkin bars. Everything has been fabulous!!!!! We make pizza dough from their bread mix also- so good! Wal-Mart also sells some wonderful pasta (it's a mixture of corn and rice) and it's very reasonably priced ($2 for 12oz.). I make pasta casseroles quite often- my boys love them! We eat our peanut butter and honey on rice cakes instead of bread and I make gluten free steel cut oatmeal, eggs, gluten free hot cereal or gluten free Chex cereal for breakfast. The boys do not complain and Noah even does well when we go out to eat and he can't get what he normally would (pancakes, grilled cheese or macaroni and cheese). I do let the other boys get wheat products when we are out (they don't seem to have as many issues as Noah does with it). I am thinking about taking dairy products out of Noah's diet also. I will probably substitute with almond milk since he is probably allergic to soy like I am and the benefits of soy are controversial anyway. Does anyone have any ideas of good dairy alternatives that are high in calories? Noah is pretty skinny so something with a higher fat/calorie count would be nice. Anyway, this is our new and exciting journey we have begun...it definitely has many benefits. Noah's meltdowns have gotten better. He still has them but not near as often. His speech has gotten a lot better also. I have not had any stomach troubles anymore. I used to get such severe stomach cramps that I would be doubled over in pain. I decided it was probably due to wheat and I think my assumptions were right since I have not had any stomach cramps since cutting wheat out of our diet cold turkey. I have also lost about 5-6 pounds. I would like to lose another 3-5 in order to get down to my 'goal' weight. Anyway, I will try and post some of the recipes I have done. I don't feel like we have missed out on anything! And oddly enough I do not crave wheat...at all! I know how it made me feel and I don't want to have to feel that way again! Let me know if you know of any good gluten free recipe sources. I am always wanting to get new meal ideas!

Wordless Wednesday

2010-11-10T11:38:00.001-08:00

(This is what happens when you let an 18 month old feed himself oatmeal. I guess it's easier to eat if you dump it out?)

Happiness

2010-11-08T10:28:00.004-08:00

These are the reasons why I have chosen to be happy in any and all circumstances. Or...at least I am learning to be.

Because I am not always happy and content. Nope. In fact, just this morning I was having a down moment. Discontent with many things in my life. I still feel a little bit sick about some things but I am ignoring that 'feeling' and choosing to be content. I am turning my focus onto God,my hard working,good looking, amazing husband and these four beautiful,little blessings that have put in my care. Or at least (with much prayer) that is what I am trying to do. This world has a way of pulling you down....or pulling you in so to speak. It's a constant battle to resist the evil of our current world and not get discouraged over people who fail to resist it, give into it, join it and ruin their life. The selfishness I see in others (and even myself at times) is sickening to me. The philosophy of living for yourself is so bizarre! So against everything I was taught growing up. Yet this comes so naturally to so many people! And yes, I am not immune to this either. I struggle too. I get wore out with being a mom and some days just want to lock the kids in the house and run away somewhere warm and never come back! Then the Lord rebukes me and I snap out of it. My sacrifice is so worth the future of my children! Those boys depend on my being here and to be un-selfish of my time,ect. Cooking their food, washing their clothes, giving them an education,disciplining them and training them to someday be leaders of their own homes. My 'happiness' is not worth ruining my children's futures. My job is by far one of the greatest jobs a person can have. I know that is not taught anymore but I know this to be true. I even struggle with this reality. Our culture emphasizes so much on education and careers. If you do not have a college degree or career some how you are not as important. You are not contributing to society so to speak. I know this is not true but after being hammered into your head all the time (through television,ect.) it's hard not to believe it. So, yes I have my moments. My moments of wanting 'me' time. I give,give,give so I think I 'deserve' it. Of course, in true reality I do not. I do not deserve all that has been given me. God has given me more than I should be given. So whenever I start feeling down,discontent and feeling like life is unfair I just focus on the good things in my life. My cute,cozy home, my four beautiful boys, my wonderful husband, my relationship with God, two, working, paid for vehicles, a family that loves me, food on our table and so much more! Then my life doesn't seem so bad and I feel guilty for being discontent in the first place. This is how I am learning to be happy....I focus on the good and ignore the bad. This will be a continuing work in progress...that much I know.

God's v Man's

2010-10-28T10:14:00.003-07:00

I have quickly learned from watching television and seeing some people's comments and statuses on facebook that God's principles are definitely NOT man's principles. It honestly,truly saddens my heart that even people who claim to be Christians fall into man's way of thinking. These are things I have learned...

Man's view: Put yourself first
God's view: Put yourself last

Man's view: Base your decisions solely on how it affects you
God's view: Base your decisions based on Biblical principles and how they affect others in your life.

Man's view: Happiness is a feeling. Therefor if you feel happy than whatever you are doing is a good thing. Do whatever makes you happy. Even if it is at the expense of others happiness...or well being.
God's view: Happiness is a choice. If you 'choose' to turn all your worries,wants and desires over to the Lord and live completely and solely for Him you will be happy. You can choose to be happy with your spouse,children and current living conditions and/or situations. We should never base our decisions off of our 'feelings'. It will only lead us to a world of hurt in the long run.

Man's view: Never judge or give advice to someone that goes against what they want or how they are living. Accept them for who they are. Never dare speak a word of truth to them...it may hurt their 'feelings'. Constructive criticism is a big no-no.
God's view: Speak the truth in love. Encourage your fellow brothers and sisters in Christ to make wise decisions. Decisions based on Godly principles. This is not judging. This is giving them an outside perspective and trying to save them from ruin and hurt later on.

Man's view: You are not selfish when you live your life for you and you only. You ARE selfish if you try and help someone who is making wrong choices (figure that one out).
God's view: Our main purpose here is to bring honor and glory to God. We are to base our life around what God wants and focus on the people God has placed in our lives. We should think of ourselves last. Ultimately this will lead us down a road of fulfillment and happiness.

Man's view: Surround yourself with friends that will only agree with you and accept any and every decision you make. Take advice from the ungodly.
God's view: Surround yourself with godly people who will give you godly advice even though it may go against what you want.

"Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in the law of the Lord; and in his law doth he meditate day and night." - Psalm 1:1

Noah IS Batman!

2010-10-22T17:51:00.000-07:00

Noah is having a current obsession with Batman...or really thinking he IS Batman! This kid sleeps,eats and breathes Batman! He introduces himself as Batman,responds to being called Batman, dresses like Batman and somehow always manages to turn a subject on to Batman! He has a pair of Batman pajamas he wears all the time! Well, that and cowboy boots (aka Batman boots). The other day I had to wash all the dirt and grime off his Batman outfit (fighting the bad guys is dirty work!). I knew it was going to be a battle getting the Batman outfit off of my little Batman. I finally had to peel the clothes off Batman's back against his will. The meltdown that ensued was not pretty! My Batman started kicking,screaming,scratching himself and hitting himself. He was calling himself stupid and was very distraught because he really thought he couldn't be Batman without his beloved outfit! I didn't know how to respond. Do I discipline him or just hold him? I decided for the later because he wasn't doing anything to me and I could clearly see that this really upset him. (Meltdowns I have come to realize are not an act of defiance!) I held him tight (not saying a word),shushed in his ear and kept his arms held away from him so he couldn't hurt himself anymore. After about a 10 minute meltdown he finally settled down and was as calm and happy as could be. I have since washed the outfit and it is still in the dryer (it has been for 3 days now!). He hasn't mentioned the outfit yet but I am sure he will be glad to be re-united with it tonight! Yep, this is how our Noah (uhem...I mean 'Batman') rolls. He will have a major meltdown over something and then once it's through it's through. Crazy boy...

*Noah does get disciplined when he has disobeyed or is truly being defiant*

The world needs all kinds of minds

2010-10-21T09:20:00.000-07:00

And we were given a child with one of those unique minds. Noah was diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum last week.
(This was when he was in one of his phases. He would wear snow pants, snow boots and a tie all day...every day. Lasted about 2 months.)
If you haven't watched this movie...then I suggest you do. It's very interesting and I found myself crying off and on through out the whole thing. Noah has allot of her same responses to situations and behaviors. It really hit home for me. I have wondered for awhile (about 1 1/2 years) if there was something else going on with Noah but I wanted to wait until he was a little older to make sure it wasn't just normal 2-3 year old behavior. Once he turned four I decided it was time to get him evaluated. I knew in my gut that he would get a diagnoses of 'mild autism'. Sure enough after the doctor asked Noah several questions and also asked me an onslaught of questions, the neurologist confirmed my suspicions. Noah is on the autism spectrum. I almost had a feeling of relief. Now we can really start understanding why he responds the way he does to things. I also feel blessed that God has given me such a unique child. Yes, he takes up a good 80% of my attention (he has from day one) but I have a feeling it will all be worth it in the end. My mother has always said, "Your biggest challenges bring you your biggest rewards.". God made Noah the way he is for a very specific reason. I may not know what the reason is now but in time it will reveal itself in an amazing way! These are some of Noah's behaviors that had me wondering and started me researching autism/aspergers.
~Stuttering/his own 'accent' almost
~Meltdowns
~Obsessions
~Repetitive movements- he also can't sit still. (He moves like he has to go to the bathroom...when he doesn't.)
~Narrowed interest- for example he has been 'Batman' for 2 months now. Before that he was a cowboy for about 6-7 months straight (wore his boots to bed and everything). He almost always talks about Batman and not much of anything else.
~Poor social skills. He does not play with children. He plays off by himself.
~He takes everything you say literal. He does not understand sarcasm.
~He likes to eat the same thing every day and is a picky eater.
~He doesn't seem to understand others feelings or emotions.
~He doesn't think logically.
~He lives in a fantasy world most of the time. He really,truly believes he IS Batman! He even responds to Batman!
~Poor eye contact when talking.
~He panics if he is thrown in the air or held upside down. I mean REALLY panics!
~He also panics and freaks out when water is thrown in his face or he is splashed with water.
~He has a hard time answering questions and somehow always gets a subject back to Batman.
~His eyes tend to dart back and forth allot and he blinks his eyes constantly.
~He covers his ears and/or hides underneath furniture when there are loud noises or when he is scared.
Sometimes he just doesn't answer questions at all or just responds with "I don't know".
These were his most obvious behaviors that made me wondering.

Anyway, take a look at this. It is very interesting and I am anxious to watch more of her speeches. She is a very intriguing person!

As Seen in My...

2010-09-21T10:51:00.000-07:00

...in my KITCHEN!!!! I thought I would give glimpses of my life through the rooms of my house. I think your house/home says alot about a person. It's an extension of yourself in a way. I will continue the rest of the kitchen/living room tour tomorrow. =)

(Sadly, I am a HUGE coffee snob...!)

Have you picked up on my theme?

New School Room

2010-09-10T14:43:00.000-07:00

I decided we needed an 'official' school room this year. So, I turned our spare room into a school room. I had some friends over to help me paint the base colors (chocolate brown and surfer blue) and then I painted on all the circles (took me a few days). I love the outcome and I think all the effort was well worth it! It's great to have a place to come that puts us in school mode. =)

This is MY Life...

2010-08-26T11:55:00.000-07:00

There are always dirty dishes in my kitchen sink...

There are PILES of folded laundry on my couch...

There is a HUGE lego mess in the boys' room...

There are crumbs on my counter...

There is cereal on my floor...

I still have my pajamas on and it is 2:30 in the afternoon...

These boys make it all worth while though... the dirty laundry, the mess, the sinkful of dishes, the crumbs and the dirty hair. Thank you Lord, for my little mess makers...

Blessed...

2010-08-16T11:10:00.000-07:00

To have the family I have. My sister came and stayed with me for a few days and now my most wonderful sister-in-law is staying with me for a few days. As much as I would love to blog I am way too busy partying it up with my family...my friends...

Wake Up Call

2010-08-12T08:42:00.000-07:00

I was sleeping soundly when I was woken up by Jonathan.

Jonathan: Mom, come quick! I think there is a man in the house and he locked himself in the room with Bella (our dog...). I think he is killing her!

Yeah, its been an interesting morning...

(By the way, Bella is alive and well!)

Random Thoughts About Nothing Much

2010-08-11T10:30:00.000-07:00

I was told I need to update my blog more often. Even if I have few words to say or just a picture to post.
~ So here it is.These are the thoughts that run through my head.all.the.time! This is the most random post ever.~
This is me. Dabble in something, find I am not perfect at it and then leave it never to turn back to it again. It's a weakness. Something I am not proud of but it's me nonetheless. I am a perfectionist by nature and I am struggling to overcome it.
I am also real. I am who I am. What you see is what you get. If I am having a bad day you'll know it. If I am hurt you'll know it. If I am happy you'll know it,ect.
I also struggle with laziness in some areas of my life. I never have a problem feeding,bathing,caring for the boys, cleaning the kitchen and paying the bills but I put off making phone calls, feeding myself,doing laundry,making real meals, deep cleaning, mowing the lawn,grocery shopping,sewing ect. I do it...but it takes me forever to get the motivation to do it. Once I start doing it though then I don't quite until it's done.
I also am struggling with finding my niche. I feel so useless. Like I need to do something to contribute financially. I just don't know what. What would work for me? What can I do while still being a full time mommy of four and teacher to the two older boys? Day care maybe? I am scared of the commitment though since I like my freedom to do whatever whenever. I am also afraid of failure. Or quitting something again.
Why do I struggle with these feelings of inadequacy? Why am I so indecisive? Why am I not completely content all the time? Do all moms struggle with this? If not, how do they overcome these feelings?
My husband is gone now 5 1/2 days of the week. He is only home 1 1/2 days. I miss him and I get lonely at times but I am also thankful for a job. Fortunately, I have been somewhat busy with friends. Friends I did not do much with just a few short months ago. I have been reconnecting with people and it has been so nice! I pray these friendships keep growing. I thank God for giving me friends when I have needed them so badly. I just hope I don't do something to ruin these new found friendships since I need adult interaction so badly. Especially since Tim is gone so much.
I need to paint the schoolroom and start doing school with the boys. I need to make a schedule too. So why haven't I done it? Oh, that's right. I like my flexibility. Stinkin' lazy nature in me.
I can't stand myself sometimes. Can't even look in the mirror some days. Feel so ugly, fat and unattractive. Why can't I view myself how my husband views me? Or how God views me- beautiful and unique. Why do I have such a low self esteem? Is it because I am selfish?
Yet there are the times when I feel I can really be something great. Something great for the Lord but what would that be? (Lord, why don't you just tell me clearly what my purpose here is?) I want to live completely in God's will but struggle knowing what that is. Am I in his will now?
There are some major decisions Tim and I want to make but don't know how or when to do it...if we even make them.
So many thoughts swirling through my head. So many times I think I am going mad.
The stress of dealing with kids alone, keeping the house up, dealing with the finances and making most of the decisions makes me almost physically ill. Most times I can handle it but it does get to be overwhelming. So overwhelming at times I feel like giving up. Throwing in the towel and saying I QUITE! But I don't. Since this is the road I have chosen and it's my life. These are my children. Tim is my husband and I am committed to them. I am in it for the long haul. As hard as it seems. All I need is encouragement and prayer. I do not need people 'preaching' at me. Until you have lived my life you just don't know.
Anyway, I have so many more things to post but life has called and I need to answer. I could go on and on so I need to quite at some time. And that time is now.
Peace out...

Following the Crowd

2010-06-27T15:12:00.000-07:00

The Questions:

1.If you had 5000.00 to spend on plastic surgery what would you have done?
2. Do you watch Soap operas and if so what is your favorite and why?
3. Favorite clothing brand?
4. An afternoon shopping spree at your favorite store or maid service for a year?
5. Favorite Disney Princess?
6. Last movie that made you bawl your eyes out?
7. Have you ever broken any bones and if so what?

(This just looked fun...)

1. This one is easy-peesy. (Hopefully this doesn't offend) I would throw in a couple more grand and get my sagging...well you know whats lifted... and a tummy tuck. Tummy tuck being first in order of importance. After having a baby the size of a 2-3 month old (11 1/2 pounds) and a couple ten pounders my tummy is in dire need of a face...errr...tummy lift.

2. I think the last time I watched a soap opera was in my teens. Probably while my mom was out and I snuck in some tv watching (not allowed in our home) and that was all that was on. Yes, those were my rebellious years. ::::Rolling my eyes::::

3.Charlotte Russe all the way! Their clothing is so unique, stylish and affordable! Nothing 'momish' about this store but still age appropriate.

4. MAID SERVICE FOR A YEAR!!!!!!

5. (Deleted the real number 5 question- it wasn't all that appropriate.) Definitely Cinderella hands down!

6.Probably My Sister's Keeper. Sad movie for several different reasons. Still wouldn't say I 'bawled my eyes out' though.

7. Nope. I'm just safe like that. =)

Wordless Wednesday- Summer

2010-06-02T09:27:00.000-07:00

I Like Pretty Things

2010-05-21T10:22:00.000-07:00

I put great effort into making our house a home. This week I was finally able to tackle the master bedroom. We haven't had a nice bed frame since we've been married so I was very excited to get our new bed in this week. (I love it!) In celebration of our new bed I decided to paint and hang some new pictures. I'm liking the outcome. It's very warm and inviting now and it actually feels like a master bedroom. I don't have any before pictures so the after pictures will have to suffice. I still have a few empty walls but I'm sure I'll find something for them sooner or later. The Lord has blessed us by giving us not only what we need but a few of our wants too. It's amazing how God has provided even through Tim's time of un-employment!

(By the way- Tim made the cradle, hope chest and large dresser. He's amazing...)

2010-05-20T08:36:00.001-07:00

"A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones." Proverbs 17:22 I love the books of Proverbs so much wisdom for our everyday life!

(And yes, this is how he always wakes up!)

Learning

2010-05-19T20:27:00.002-07:00

Slowly I'm learning to embrace this role...the role of motherhood. It's been a journey. A journey of self-discovery. I've struggled with feelings of unworth and unimportance. Being a mom sometimes seems so unappreciated and overlooked. So many are doing and being great things. While I'm home wiping snotty noses and cleaning up crumbs off the floor. Where's our graduations, recognition and salaries? See...the world views us (moms) as unimportant. Putting on emphasis on a college education and careers. It's hard not to believe that to be true. Nope, we don't get to wear caps, walk down an aisle and give a speech. We don't receive a paycheck for our job that never ends. Instead we wipe tears away, kiss boo-boos, wipe noses, cuddle sick babies, tuck little ones in bed, hear our children's first words, see our children's first steps, we pray over sleeping heads and we get free hugs and kisses whenever we want and especially when we need them! We don't hear the words- 'congrats' or 'we're giving you a pay raise'. Instead we hear- 'Mommy, I love you' and 'You're the best mommy ever'. No, being a mom isn't where my journey ends but for right now it's where it has stopped...for a season. It will continue again...just not now. For now being a mom is what I'm embracing. I'm going to savor these fleeting moments with these beautiful children I've been entrusted with. I'm going to enjoy this season of life I'm in. Because it will be gone all too soon...

Boys...

2010-05-19T11:55:00.001-07:00

Their path of destruction starts at such a young age...

2010-05-19T09:00:00.001-07:00

Sigh...my baby sister is graduated. Congrats Bethany on your completion of high school and good luck on the continuation of your education (aka college).

(I had the pleasure of taking her pictures this past Sunday!)

Enter to Win...

2010-05-06T08:49:00.001-07:00

If you donate a minimum $10 donation to Luke's Legion you will automatically be entered into a drawing to win a custom made/hand sewn diaper bag or purse/tote! (I promise I will never see your money- it goes directly to CF research.) The bag shown above is an example of the tote/purse I would make but not the fabric I would use. I'd let you give me your favorite color scheme and I'd make you something you'd love! The bag shown below is an example of the diaper bag I would make- I'd even include a name if you wanted! It is shown in the fabric I'd use for a boy and the fabric below that is what I'd use if you have a daughter and needed a girl bag made instead. Rest assured that your money will go towards a worthy cause. Please go to/click CF.org and donate now! Every penny makes a difference! Plus, who wouldn't want one of these cool bags?

One Year Ago Today

2010-04-23T19:56:00.000-07:00

One year ago today you came into our life. What a blessing you have been to us. You are now a walking/running, thumb-sucking, blanket loving, blond/blue-eyed/curly-haired little boy! Happy 1st birthday Grant man! We love you!

You also have a new, little birthday buddy! Your cousin, Allison Rae, was born today and you share a birthday with each other which now makes this day even more special! What a sweetie she is too...

(Happy birthday little Allie! We're so happy you joined our family!)

Luke's Legion

2010-04-14T19:27:00.000-07:00

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Please help us find a cure for Cystic Fibrosis...click here to find out how. I have quite a ways to go until I reach my goal. I pray I will live to see the day my nephew,Luke, can be breath like me...

I Have a Goal

2010-04-12T11:08:00.001-07:00

I have set a goal and I am taking bigger steps towards my goal.
I made a thought-out but hasty decision Friday morning and now I'm starting on my journey towards my goal.
Tomorrow night.
I'm doing it.
I'm really doing it.
I'm scared and excited.
I hope I can do this.
I will do this.
I need to do this.
Pray for me.
I'm going to need it.

Kitchen Re-model

2010-04-08T09:15:00.000-07:00

My husband has been blessed with some wonderful talents. One of them is woodworking. Sadly, even though he is amazing at what he does he is without a full time job right now. We hate it that he doesn't have a job but it has given him some time to work on our kitchen. When we first moved into our house the kitchen and a living room were on our main floor. A wall separated the two. Before we even made an offer on the house Tim decided that the wall would have to eventually go. He thought it was too closed in. Well, the Lord blessed us with a good tax return this year so Tim decided to tear out the wall. Plus, he knew once he got a full time job again he wouldn't have the time to work on it. Fortunately, we've been able to do the project for pretty cheap. Tim has done almost all the work himself which cut down on the cost quite a bit. He also made the wood floors completely from scratch. They were a lot of work but so worth it. They're gorgeous! I thought I'd post some before and after pictures for your enjoyment. This room is definitely my favorite room in the house now! (The new furniture was bought off Craigslist)

The wall after Tim put holes in it to re-route the electrical. I wish I had a better before picture but I guess we were so anxious to get the wall out that we forgot to get a good one. Oh well....

After the wall was out before the floors were torn out.

After! All we need now is base board and the island counter top and we're done!

Wordless Wednesday

2010-04-07T11:23:00.000-07:00

My oldest and youngest...

A Mom Can Dream Too

2010-04-06T09:05:00.000-07:00

I have dreams. Some big, some small- all important. For the last 5-7 years I've put these dreams on hold. I've listened to nay-sayers and doubters. Believing I can not achieve such dreams. Believing I'm not good enough or smart enough. Well, I'm done with that. I'm stepping forward and I'm starting to move toward these dreams and goals. I'm taking little, baby steps towards some of these dreams right now. I'm looking forward to taking big steps next and then leaps and jumps. This is exciting but also very scary. I've never pursued anything like this before. I have my doubts that I can even do it but I'm refusing to give into those doubts and fears. I'm going to rely completely on the Lord and I'm going to have the confidence that through Him my dreams can become a reality. I know they will. Because I know (through first hand experience) that God can give me all the desires of my heart. Wow. So many changes about to happen to me...and my husband. So many changes for our children. Hopefully all good. I'm excited and scared. I'm confident but hesitant. I'm unsure but sure. I'm frightened that I'll fail but I'm confident that I'll excel. I'm so many emotions right now. That's why I'm giving it to the Lord and leaning on Him to get me where I need to go. I'm done relying on myself. Sooo...my friends, I may be blogging less....or more. We'll see what happens on this wild ride called life. Only God knows...because I sure don't but I'm sure anxious to find out. In time I will and then I'll inform you of what my dreams are and update you on my progress with fulfilling them. Ohhh! They are so close I can taste them almost. Please Lord, help me not to let dreams and opportunities slip through my fingers. Give me the confidence, patience and strength to pursue them...

I know, I know...

2010-04-03T10:42:00.000-07:00

The Christmas tree picture needs to go. Soooo....tomorrow I'm having my cousin take a new family picture of us. It will be much more 'spring-ish'. ;-)

Maybe When I'm Old

2010-03-31T11:51:00.000-07:00

Maybe when I'm old....

I'll be able to use the bathroom without someone walking in on me.

I'll be able to sew whenever I want.

I'll be able to sleep in until noon.

I'll be able to go shopping by myself and not feel guilty about being by myself.

I'll be able to clean once a day...maybe even only once a week.

I won't have to clean up the messes on the floor around the toilet (sigh....little boys).

I won't have to wash three loads of laundry a day.

I can have a 'girls' weekend away and not have to call home several times a day.

I can travel with my husband and not have to farm out the kids to three different families.

I won't have to do dishes 3-4 times a day.

I will be able to get a full 8 hours of sleep without being interrupted.

I will be able to watch a movie without pausing it every couple of minutes to tend to kids.

I will have time to eat three meals a day.

I can eat my food when it's still warm.

I can exercise without tripping over children.

AND....I can BLOG!

Until then my blogging may be sporadic...I apologize. Life happens!

Please Help!

2010-02-12T08:16:00.000-08:00

I am walking this year in the Naperville Riverwalk walk for Great Strides. I need your help though. I have set a goal of $500 to help aid in the funding for Cystic Fibrosis research. They are so close to finding a cure and it would be sad if they were never able to find it in my nephew's lifetime because they were under-funded. If you can't afford to donate the least you could do is sign up to walk in a Great Strides walk close to you. Or you could try to get people to donate to this great organization. Please help- Cystic fibrosis is a devastating disease that no one should have to suffer from. Click here if you are able to donate or walk. We appreciate every penny that is given! Thank you!

*Quick update on my nephew, Luke. He was just in the hospital this week to get a g-tube placed. He hasn't gained weight in over a year and so they thought this would be the best course of action to get his weight up. It's very important for CF patients to be at a healthy weight. His surgery went well and everything seems to be going smoothly with his nightly feedings. Please keep his parents (my sister and her husband) in your prayers though. This is just another added thing they have to think about and another thing to add to his daily regiment. He already has 2 vest treatments (at the minimum- more when he's sick), enzymes before all meals and snacks, nebulizer treatments and sometimes IV treatments. Plus, they have to care for his 7 month old sister, Ana. I know the prayers would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!*

Conversations with Grandma

2010-02-08T15:32:00.000-08:00

My sister and my 83 year old Grandma (who has dementia) came and stayed with us while my mom and stepfather got away for their anniversary. My grandma says the funniest things at times. Sometimes not very nice things but (as bad as this may be) we couldn't help but laugh even at the mean things she's say. She had a bad day Saturday and wouldn't let Bethany take her to the bathroom, change her, feed her, give her medicine (aka medical drugs), ect. She was mad at us for making her get out of the car (we had taken her out in the afternoon) and she held a grudge all day. We had to get creative when it came to giving her, her medication. She also doesn't like Austin for some reason and told him to 'shut up', cussed at him and tried to spank him once. Austin just smiled, shook his index finger at her and told her, "Nu-uh, Grandma!". She can be so mean! She has always been a little spit-fire so this doesn't come as a surprise to me. Anyway, a few of the things she said were:

After I told her I liked her shoes she responded by saying, "Yes, my mom mows them." Hmmm...really, Grandma? That's rather interesting.

She had tried taking all my towels (that had been folded and were sitting on the couch) and was carrying them around. I was able to get all but one of them away from her (I didn't think it would hurt to let her have one). She was carrying the one, lone towel around and she looked down at it and said, "Well, this is just depressing. I only have one, old towel. And it's mine!" Okay, Grandma, you can sleep with it if you want. Just please, go to bed now!

After we gave Grandma a cup of tea to settle her down she pushed her empty cup aside and said, "Well, that was some bum coffee!" I'll bet it was- because it was tea not coffee.

After Bethany convinced Grandma to let her help her get ready for bed she was sitting at the table (after drinking her bum coffee) and I could see was feeling her gums with her tongue. She got a confused look on her face and stated (the obvious), "I seem to have forgotten to put my teeth in today."

When my cousin came home and sat at the table with us Grandma looked at her and said, " It looks like you've been jamming some weed." Ashley just responded by saying, "Thanks Grandma."

Grandma also told Ashley that her lips were 'slipping'. Whatever that's supposed to mean.

We also had conversations with Grandma that are better left un-repeated. Uhem...oh Grandma! Can't live with her and you sure can't live without her! What a character!

I'm Human

2010-02-08T08:15:00.000-08:00

And I'm a sinner and I'm having hard time being joyful today.

I was up three times last night with a sick baby.

I got up for the day before the sun did and so did Grant (I'm NOT a morning person!).

The kids are crabby!

Tim's gone until tomorrow.

My washer is broken and the laundry is growing at a very, fast rate.

Jonathan has been working on his math for three hours now.

I have one HUGE hole and five smaller holes in my wall. (This really bothers me- I'm a perfectionist and everytime I look at the holes I cringe and feel disgusting.)

Tim started remodeling our kitchen.

Tim still doesn't have a full time job- hence the remodeling.

My shower drain is clogged.

It's cold out and I'm sick of Illinois weather!

My nephew (Luke) is getting surgery today to get a g-tube placed.

I am wore out with the responsibility of caring for 5 kids during the day and I have cabin fever.

I need a vacation....somewhere warm and quiet, and with just me and the husband.

What a day...

2010-02-02T09:41:00.001-08:00

So far we've had:

1 diaper give out

1 bottle of milk spilled and dumped all over a crib

1 potty accident

10 (give or take) meltdowns

1 washer broken (and an expensive one to fix too!)

7 changes of clothing for various reasons

1 dumped can of mandarin oranges

1 smushed banana scraped off the floor (because ,of course, I didn't find it until it dried!)

2 kitchen clean ups

5 crabby children...

...and 1 very crabby and tired mommy!

Hopefully this day will end better than it started and hopefully 6 people will be taking nice,long naps today!

Trying Hard

2010-01-20T06:27:00.000-08:00

I'm afraid it has been one of those mornings. I would say day but since the whole day or even the majority of the day hasn't happened yet I'll just stick to morning. It's been a kids fight over every.little.thing kind of morning. Or baby discovers how to un-screw his lid to his bottle while in his crib kind of morning. Or hubby and yourself have a slight disagreement kind of morning. You know what I'm talking about, right? Yay, well, that's kind of how my morning has been. My faith is wavering a bit today. I'm sad and a little gloomy. I couldn't tell you why or the reason for my being so. Most days I can handle what life throws at me pretty well. Today not so much. I'm partly gloomy because Tim had a second interview (with the same company) last week and it went really well (or so he thought) and we still have yet to hear back from them. It's been a week today. I've been trying to hand it all over to the Lord and be patient but it can be so hard! I know that ultimately the Lord knows what's best and I know he has a perfect plan all laid out for our family. I just wish I could see what it was! Sometimes I wish we could just pack up, move and start fresh but God hasn't told us to do so yet. It's got to be in his timing or it's all in vain. So here we sit, waiting. Again. We were in this same position last year. It took Tim 6 months to finally find a job. Our needs were met then and our needs have been met now. I know that. I just feel awful for Tim. He is a very,very talented man. Unfortunately, there are very few jobs that need his talent. He's being doing things to keep him busy but I know that he longs for a career. Not just a job but a career. (Even though he'd be happy with just a job at this point.) Anyway, all that to say this- sometimes I just feel we've been forgotten. Like God loves us but he's just forgotten about us. I know that's not true but that's just how I feel at times. I just want to know what he's trying to teach us. I thought we had learned our lesson in patience but maybe not? I guess until he does show us (again!) what to do- I'll just keep trying. Trying to turn it over to the Lord and trust that he really does have a plan and that he hasn't forgotten about us. Because I know He will never leave us nor forsake us!

Well?

2010-01-19T08:18:00.000-08:00

Do these at least make me look smarter?!

(I have contact lenses too- these are just for backup.)

Wordless Wednesday

2010-01-13T07:13:00.000-08:00

It's too early to be happy...

Publish Post

(Yes, he is on bottles now. Don't judge me.)

Pray for Luke

2010-01-12T13:54:00.000-08:00

It's been awhile since I've mentioned my nephew, Luke. I think now is a good time to do so again. My sister had a rough clinic visit with him today. To put it simply- he's not gaining weight. When you have Cystic Fibrosis it is vital that you gain weight. He hasn't even gained a pound in a year...a year...that just doesn't cut it. They're going to have to make some drastic changes soon. I feel for my sister most of all. I know this has got to be hard on her. She had a bad feeling today's clinic wouldn't bring good news and she was right. (How is it that we mothers know these things?) You can read more about her journey and her day here. Just keep their whole family in your prayers I know they'd greatly appreciate it. Also- keep praying for a cure!

My Husband

2010-01-12T07:01:00.000-08:00

The man God has blessed me with is beyond incredible. He is my best friend, love of my life, father of my children, spiritual leader, sole confidant and provider. I really can't complain about him. I have nothing to complain about. He's pretty much amazing! I mean how many husbands will:

Wash the dishes

Help you clean up puke

Cut and dye your hair

Vacuum the floors

Help put away laundry

Put the kids to bed

Change the baby's diaper (when asked)

Compliment you even when you look like death warmed over

Encourage and pray for you daily

Work 60-80 hours a week (if needed) just to make ends meet

Get the boys ready for church every Sunday

Get up in the middle of the night to make the baby a bottle

Brag about you to all who will listen

Swear you're the best cook ever (even if you're not)

Hold your hand, kiss and hug you anytime and anywhere he can get a chance

Only has eyes for you

Believe in you

Trust you

And (in my humble opinion) one of the best things of all....will watch all 4 of the kids so you can enjoy a night out with your girl friends. Not once but twice in one week. Yep, I told you I was married to an incredible man!

Sleeping In...

2010-01-11T06:33:00.001-08:00

My days of sleeping in have ended. I now have responsibility. I have to be a grown up and get up when the grown ups do. Which also means I have to go to bed when responsible grown ups do. No more going to bed at 2 in the morning (sigh). For now on I have to hit the hay by at least 11 if not (gasp!) by 10. That would allow me to get my 8 hours of sleep in and let me tell ya- I NEED my 8 hours of sleep! Unless my boys want crabby,mean mommy and I know they don't so therefor I NEED my 8 hours of precious sleep. Anyway, the reason why I need to wake up earlier is because I've agreed to babysit a little girl while her momma student teaches at a near by school. Today's my first day and so far it's been easy peasy. Little girls are very,very different than little boys. It's only been a few hours and I can already clearly see the drastic differences. It's a welcome change. I don't know if I could babysit like I'm going to be doing if it was for a little boy and not a girl. Our house needed a little more estrogen. The testosterone in this is house is so thick it's almost suffocating. Like I said in my previous post- I wouldn't have it any other way. Just sayin' a little estrogen among all the testosterone never hurt anything. Plus, maybe it will put some manners on my boys. They'll have to act a little more refined in the presence of another lady. (Uhem...well, a girl can dream can't she?!) You know- no more burping, farting or talking about certain body parts constantly, ect. As for the wrestling, gun-shooting, ect.- well, boys are boys and I don't think that will ever change. Girls or no girls. And as awful as it may seem at times to give up my days of sleeping in I think this will be better for me and our family. It gives us more of a schedule and gives me more purpose. You know- a reason for getting up. And amazingly enough, I feel happy, energized and ready to start the week and I woke up at 6:30! Wow- what one can do when they really put their mind to it! It's just amazing...so amazing! :::Grin:::

So Are You Going to Keep Trying For a Girl?!

2010-01-07T12:11:00.000-08:00

How do I respond to this? I get it often...so,so often. Almost every time we're out. I get asked by strangers, family and friends. I never know how to respond or what to say. Do we want a girl? I guess it would be nice to experience having a daughter. Would I be upset if we never had a girl? Probably not. Part of me wants to have a daughter and part me loves being a mother to all boys. Boys are wonderful- just wonderful. Yes, they're active and sometimes destructive but oh....there is just something about boys- especially baby boys. Any one of my boys can look at me a certain way and it just makes my heart melt. I have been so excited with each one of my pregnancies when we found out we were going to be having another boy. This is one of my dreams- being a momma to all boys. Each one of them is so precious, unique and all boy! They're rough and tumble and loud but they're loads of fun! Our house is full of testosterone and energy! It's full of sword-fighting, gun-shooting, car sounds, bodily noises, body slamming, doors banging, cowboy hat and boot-wearing, whooping and hollering and lots of eating! I often scratch my head and wonder why God blessed me with such beautiful boys. I feel so unworthy. What privilege, honor and responsibility. So, yes, we would like to pray for a girl next time. No, we won't be upset if we have another boy. No, we are not stopping based on when or if we get a girl. (We will stop when we feel the Lord tells us to stop.) And no, I'm not making an announcement. If God sees fit to only give us boys then I will embrace my role as mother to all boys. For now though- I wouldn't have it any other way.

Sick...

2010-01-07T09:16:00.000-08:00

So here I sit....sick. My boys are wrestling upstairs and Noah's screaming. The baby just joined him. The washer is sloshing, the clothes are waiting to be folded, the toilets need scrubbing, the floors need vacuumed, the furniture needs dusting, school needs to get done, meals need to be made and the kitchen still needs to get cleaned. Why don't moms get sick days too?

First Impressions

2010-01-06T12:32:00.000-08:00

Do I really look like I have it all together?(By the way- I don't.)

Do I look stress-free? (I'm stressed a lot.)

Do I appear as un-perfect as I am? (I am very un-perfect...very.)

Do I intimidate? (I hope not!)

Am I unfriendly? (I love making new friends!)

Do I act snobbish? (I promise I'm not a snob!)

I think I'm always giving people the wrong impression of myself.

I'm sorry if I have given anyone a false perception of me.

Please forgive me if I have. For now on I'll try to:

Keep a smile on my face.

A hop in my step.

A word of 'hello' on my lips.

And a hand reached out to anyone in need.

God's still working on me!!!

Some New Creations

2010-01-06T08:43:00.000-08:00

I thought I'd share a few bags I did a few weeks ago. The first is a bag my sister had me make for a friend of hers (as a diaper bag for her new baby). I drew the elephants out on paper and then cut it out and used it as a template. I thought it turned out cute. The second is a tote bag I made for my mother (she uses tote bags quite a bit). They are supposed to be cupcakes. ;-) I'm getting that itch to sew again so I might just have to take a little trip to the fabric store today. I'm thinking some new clothes are needed by me. Uhem...

I Never Have Been Good With Words

2010-01-05T08:31:00.000-08:00

This is a cross I must bear. I have all these thoughts swirling around in my head. Intelligent thoughts even but for some reason any time I try to put these thoughts in to words my lips confuse them and stumble over them. Sometimes I even stutter- almost like my lips can't keep up with my brain...or my brain can't keep up with my lips. I'm a natural born perfectionist so since I feel like I can't make an intelligent or witty blog post I don't even try. That's just how I am. If I don't think I'm good at something I don't pursue it. I don't waste my time you could say. If I think I have the potential of being good at something then I will try to get better (sewing for example). When it comes to blogging though I feel I stink at it and don't have much potential for being any better so I've pretty much given up (have you noticed?). I don't have the ability to make a witty post, inspiring post, or a spiritually encouraging post (I have bad short term memory and can never remember Bible scripture). It's just blah. Like most everything about me....blah. I've always wished I was one of those people that attracted people. I wish I had a magnetic personality. My father had one of those- he was a man everyone loved and wanted to be friends with. I was unfortunately not blessed with such a personality. I try to be a genuine person. But I often wonder how much I really show people my 'true' self. The person only my husband or family sees. The person they seem to love. I like that person. I like to spend time with my family because I can be my real self with them and they seem to like me...for me. I've tried to be 'me' in front of people but I'm not as confident as I probably should be. So I hide myself and put on a quiet exterior. I start stumbling over my words or just plain forget my words. I'm just so afraid of what others are going to think. When in reality who really cares what they think?! My true friends will like me for who I am. But in all realism there are just certain people that I feel comfortable enough to be myself with. So for the rest I put on my little front (not a fake front....just a front). I protect myself from being hurt or ridiculed. Or at least till I know someone better and know they will accept me for me. I think there are several reasons for my feeling this way. One is the feeling that I was never really given a chance growing up to be myself. My hobbies weren't encouraged and my talents weren't trained and developed (with lessons, classes,ect.). I don't blame my parents for this even though it's hard not to feel like I was the one forgotten about. They did their best and I know I will fail in areas as a parent also. My mom was overwhelmed with responsibility and had a million other things to think about. (Mom don't take this personally- I love you!) I struggle with feeling like I wasn't worth the investment when my siblings were. They all had music lessons (all but my brother played two instruments)- I did not. I was given piano lessons as a child but I hated it (even though I wasn't bad at it). I begged and begged for a violin. I dreamed about playing the violin. I never did get to play it but my sister got a violin a few months after I got married. I was heartbroken. I wasn't upset she got to take it. I was just sad I was never given that opportunity. I felt I wasn't worth the investment, time or energy. I felt like a failure. Except for the exception of voice lessons for one summer I never took any other lessons of any kind. I don't hold any of this against my mother. Like I said she did her best. I probably just didn't express my desires as well as I should have. Or she couldn't see my talents or interests. I took up sewing once I got married. My mother-in-law took the time to teach me. I loved it. Once I made my first item I was hooked. I got pretty decent at it and started entertaining the thought of doing it for hire. I was shut down. Told I couldn't handle it and told I wasn't as good as others. I was hurt and all those old feelings of failure came back. I gave up the thought of sewing for others. Once again I felt like I hadn't been worth the investment. When Noah was hospitalized with failure to thrive I was criticized (even by some I thought closest to me) about my parenting skills. Some even accusing me of harming my own child. Once again feelings of failure. I was having feelings of disgust for myself. Needless to say I've always had confusion with what my purpose in life is. I know, I know, I'm raising four boys but I can't help but feeling like there's more. I want to 'really' do something. I want to be known for something- something incredible,something unique. Something that inspires, helps and encourages others. I'm drawn to the medical field. I feel it pulling me (always have). I want to go back to school so bad but I'm very much afraid of failure. What if I can't do it and I'm told 'I told you so'. I just don't want to fail again. I want to be a nurse/nurse midwife so bad it hurts. I would also love to design clothing. I've been tempted to buy a dress form and try my hand at it. I don't think I could make a pattern but I'm pretty sure I could design a dress. It seems so out of reach but I know with practice I could do it. I wish God would just tell me exactly what he wants me to do. Give me a clear answer. It would make things so much easier. Anyway, I don't know why I'm writing all this. I guess it just kind of happened. I'm not depressed, down or hurt right now- honest. I guess this was just on my mind. I hope all is well in blog land. I'm sorry the first post I write in a long time is so gloomy. It really wasn't meant to be. I'm just sharing my thoughts.

(By the way I have never aspired to be a great writer...just saying.)

On a positive note- here are a few pictures of us...oldest to youngest. ;-)

Shopping With Boys

2009-12-04T14:47:00.000-08:00

Is an awful experience and one I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. Boys are not made to shop and when they do they are liable to drive their mothers mad! I took my boys out today to make a quick trip to K-Mart because their winter coats were on sale and I'm in dire need of a new one. (Since it's been...oh...9 years since I've bought one?!) What I thought would be a quick trip turned in to one of the worst shopping trips of my life. My nerves are still twitching! Seriously- they are. We had one rushed trip to the bathroom. One messy clean up from said bathroom trip. Five hunts for the run-away Noah. A couple wrestling matches in the middle of the aisle. A few fights. One or two meltdowns. Two stops to put shoes on (again!). And the whole time the baby screamed and let the whole store know he was not in the mood to be shopping! Yep, it's decided. I'm never,never,never,never,NEVER taking the boys shopping alone!!! So tell me you moms with all boys- am I the only one with shopping experiences like this or is it just me?!
(An out take from one of many shots we took trying to get a Christmas picture. Getting four boys to look at the camera at the same time is just about as hard as shopping with four boys. Yikes! Scary stuff!)

(You'd think I'd learn my lesson but I betcha I try this again soon...and I'll once again say the same thing- never again!)

I'm back...maybe...

2009-11-16T09:02:00.000-08:00

Okay, I know. It's been forever. I honestly, just haven't felt like blogging the last couple months. Once I'm done schooling the boys, cleaning the house, doing the laundry, sewing, ect. I just don't have the energy to sit down and write a post. Plus, I've never been a gifted writer so sometimes writing is more of a chore than a hobby. Just not my thing. I'd rather sew, decorate my house, cook and bake than write. Blah. I should share some sewing projects I've done but my camera is full and I haven't taken the time to free my memory. Plus, my laptop's hard drive crashed on me and that's where my photo editing software is. I have some video of the boys I would love to share too but I haven't figured out how to get my videos on to the computer. A few things that have happened in the last couple months are...
~ We celebrated Noah's 3rd birthday! He's growing so well (50th percentile for both height and weight) and is talking SO much now! He's been fully potty-trained for 4-5 months (lost track of time) now and has been such a joy! He loves to wear his cowboy boots and cowboy hat all the time- even when he's sleeping. He LOVES to draw and color! He almost always has a crayon and paper in his hand. He loves and adores his momma! He'll come up and tell me through out the day that he loves me and that I'm the 'bestest' mommy ever! Also- we ran some blood work on him last week to make sure everything is where it should be and everything came back normal! This is awesome considering everything he went through the first year of his life. Praise the Lord!

~Tim and I celebrated our 8th wedding anniversary! God has given me a wonderful husband and I'm truly thankful for the 8 beautiful years he has given us together so far! Can't wait to see what God has in store for us in the upcoming years!

~The boys and I took a trip to Tennessee in October for a family wedding. It was an interesting trip and it opened my (and others) eyes to the control issues one of our family members has. I won't get in to it but it was interesting. Some people just need to realize that they cannot have control over everybody and everyone at all times. They also need to realize that the world does not and will never revolve around just them and only them. Nope, never has, does or will...EVER! I did get to spend some time with other family members that I haven't seen for awhile though and that was nice.

~Grant turned 6 months old! I can't believe he has already been with us for over half a year! It's going way too fast! He is now crawling and just yesterday we had to lower his crib because we came in and he was standing up! He is such a huge blessing and a wonderful addition to our family!

~Speaking of which- I'm down to my pre-pregnancy weight. There are pros and cons to this though. One huge con is that once I hit a certain weight my milk production seriously decreases. Sooo...Grant is on bottles now. =( I do still try and nurse him about three times a day but I don't know how much longer that will last. My milk supply is going and going fast. I know a lot of pro-nursing women would frown upon me giving him bottles but I ultimately had to do what I felt was best for Grant. Some women just need to realize that every woman is different and just because they never had a problem with producing doesn't mean everyone is like that. I wish I could produce more because I would nurse until my babies were at least a year old. In fact, I always plan to but my body always has other plans. Oh well, he's healthy, happy and growing and that's really all that matters. Oh, and by the way, I was NOT dieting! The weight came off on it's own.

Well, I think that about covers it. I want to post some new pictures soon so I should be posting again soon. Hope all is going well in blogland- I've really missed it!

Wordless Wednesday...Okay, So Maybe Not 'Wordless'...

2009-09-22T21:19:00.001-07:00

Look who's 5 months old today!

You can:

Roll over

Laugh, giggle and smile

Reach and grab for things

Sit up slouching over (you're so close to having it down!)

Get up on your hands and knees

Scoot forward

Jump up and down in your excersaucer

Scream like nobodies business

Coo and talk to your brothers, mommy and daddy

Whine when you want to nurse

Whine when you want mommy to hold you

Melt the hearts of everyone who meets you

You have:

Two teeth (working on number three)

Cute chubby rolls- even though you have slowed down on gaining weight

Big blue eyes

Long, adorable, kissable toes

Wispy, soft, blond hair

An adorable cleft in your chin

A dimple in your cheek

Smooth, beautiful, baby skin

Daddy's ears

You hate:

Waiting for your food

Poopie diapers

Bottles (refuses to take one!)

Your car seat

When mommy switches sides while nursing

Car rides

When Noah pokes you

Your swing

Avocados

Using a blanket while mommy nurses you in public (this is new)

You love:

Your mommy most of all

Nursing

Solid food (minus avocado)

Your brothers

Your daddy

Your crib/sleep

Your excersaucer

Your Bumbo seat

Being held

Being kissed

Being talked to

Being tickled (notice a pattern here?)

To cuddle

Your toes to be naked and free...oh, okay, so that's what mommy loves...

To suck your thumb

To play with your baby toys

To chew on your baby toys

I love you my little Grant man! What a beautiful addition you've been to our family! Happy 5 months! Time is going way too fast...

My boys. =)

2009-09-19T11:58:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I know I'm just a little partial...but I seriously have the most gorgeous boys ever! Wow! The Lord has truly blessed Tim and I. I never knew I could be so madly in love with my children. They're so much work but so worth it!

Thanks Mom...

2009-09-12T20:10:00.000-07:00

Today has been a good day. My mom took my three older boys until Tuesday morning. So that means we only have the Grant man. It was kind of my mom's little birthday/anniversary gift to me. It has been very relaxing and refreshing. My boys mean the world to me but a break is almost needed in order for me to keep my sanity. I miss them like crazy though! I miss my good night cuddles with Noah, Austin's dimpled grin and Jonathan's sense of humor. Sigh...my boys are the cutest, little rascals ever! It's amazing how incomplete I feel without them. I know they're having a blast and are in very good hands though. Thanks mom- you're the BEST! Love you!

*Update*

Thanks Bethany!!!! (My 17 year old sister who helps my mom ALLOT when my mom has my boys!) I love you- you're the BESTEST, most awesome, 17 year old sister a person could have! You rock! =)

Thoughts...

2009-09-11T09:56:00.000-07:00

The other night I had watched a video on YouTube and it brought back memories. Memories, thoughts and feelings I'd rather not think about again...ever. It made me think about 2 1/2 years ago when Noah was in the hospital. What a dark time of my life that was. Something I'd rather not experience again. It's ranks up there as being one of the darkest times of my life. Even surpassing the death of my father. Some nights I still lay in bed crying and wondering what I should have done differently. I beat myself up about not taking him sooner to the doctor. Even though I know I tried my best at home to get him to gain weight. I tried every non-allergenic formula out there and nothing seemed to work. I decided to drive an 1 1/2 hours away (we had just moved)to his original doctor instead of taking the time to find a doctor. I remember the feeling when they put him on the scale and he still weighed his birth weight at 3 months old. I was shocked, mortified, embarrassed, scared and worried. How could this be?! I was nursing him then feeding him a whole 4 ounce bottle. He was eating every two hours. I remember feeling like a common criminal and low life when the doctor told me they would have to call DCFS on me. I knew the truth. I knew I hadn't starved my baby and I couldn't believe they'd think I do such a thing- even though I knew why they did. I was horrified. I had been trying everything I knew to get my baby to gain weight. I knew there was a problem. I just didn't know how bad. (That's the whole reason I was taking him to the doctor.) I think about the feelings of hopelessness when every day they put on the scale and he hadn't gained an ounce. I wanted him to gain so bad- even if it made me look like I had neglected him. Even though I knew I had not. I didn't care. I just wanted my baby to be healthy again. I remember the anger when the nurses would scrape my baby's head thinking he had cradle cap when I knew it was a rash from allergies. His head would pus and ooze. The anger when they put the IV in wrong and it missed his vein and made his leg swell up to 3x's it's original size. The anger when they kept trying to feed him the same formula I had been feeding him and he was still in pain. The anger when the doctor wouldn't listen to me when I told him my gut feeling was that he had severe food allergies. The anger I felt when the doctor told a nurse to watch me when I fed my baby or for the nurse to feed him for me. (I think they thought I was throwing the food out or something.)The relief when they transferred Noah to a different hospital. The relief when the gastro doctor (at the new hospital) took one look at him and said it looked like he had a food allergy. The relief when my child seemed content after his first feeding on the new, special formula. The disappointment when he still wasn't gaining weight. The loneliness. The incredible loneliness. The loneliness because I got very few visitors. The loneliness because Tim was too busy with work to be there with me. The shame because I knew it was because they blamed me. The shame when I heard the comments people had made about my inability to care for my child. The shame when the DCFS investigator came to interrogate me. The shame when the investigator came to my house and interrogated my other children. The sadness I felt when even certain family members were upset with me. The sadness I felt when they would poke my baby with a needle every morning. The tears- the many, many tears I shed. The happiness I felt when Noah was gaining weight. The happiness when his rash cleared up. The happiness when I received a phone call from my cousin and she prayed with me over the phone. The happiness when my grandfather took the time to call and see how his great-grandson was doing. The happiness that my mom cared enough to call every,single morning to see what his weight was. The happiness and love I felt for my mother knowing she was caring for my two older children. (My family was such a huge support for me.)The happiness when I got to take my baby home with me. The happiness when he gained weight at every doctor's appointment after his initial hospital stay. The love I felt for my baby. The love I felt for my family. The love I felt for my God. Because He loved me through it all. Without him it would've been an even darker time. My relationship with Him grew so much during that time. And even though I would never want to go back to that time in my life it did make me the person I am now. God put that in my life for a reason. For what? I'm not sure but I know there was/is a purpose to everything. I thank God every day that Noah is now a very healthy, active and growing (almost) 3 year old!

I'm an open book...

2009-09-08T13:27:00.000-07:00

This post is about as transparent as it will ever get here. I try not to divulge too much personal information or feelings on my blog. Since you know, the whole world can read it if they'd like. Anyway, I've been thinking the last couple of days. Giving myself an examination of sorts. I've been wondering why it seems to be so hard for me to make friends. This is something I've always struggled with. I try to do everything right. I'm friendly, a good listener and go out of my way to help people. Anyway, I think I do all these things. Maybe I don't as well as I think I do. My sister told me yesterday that I do something I wasn't aware of. Something that could possibly be a turn off to people. I never knew I did this thing. It really made me stop and think about how people might view me. Is this why I don't have many friends? I don't know- maybe. Or am I too clingy? Or not clingy enough? Am I too quiet? Or maybe I talk too much? Do I intimidate people? Or do people intimidate me? What's wrong with me that people just don't gravitate towards me. I seem to repel people. I feel like I'm wearing a sign that says, "No need to get to know me. I don't need friends. Thanks anyway!". I notice that allot of the people in my life have their group of friends that they do things with. I don't seem to be included in any of those groups. When I go to get togethers (aside from my family get togethers) I feel like I'm just there. Lost in the crowd. Forgettable. I feel out of place and alone. I don't quite belong and would never be missed if I would have never shown up. I know God gave me my personality for a reason but allot of times I wish he would've made me a person people wanted to be around. Because I am a social person and love getting to know people. It's just that no one seems to want to get to know me. Don't get me wrong, I have some friends and thankfully I have my family (we're a very close family too). It's just that most of my friends are more acquaintances rather than close friends. We're friendly when we see eachother at church, ect. but that's about were it ends. We never get together outside of church and only talk at church. I've tried a few times to do things with people but they always seem to have other plans. They very well could but after several tries it's hard not to think that they just might be avoiding me. I guess I'm just not a fun person to be around. I've been praying about this and have also been praying that the Lord would send someone along that I would click with. I am so grateful for my husband. I can always count on his support and love but I would really like to have some 'girl' friends too. Us girls just need girl friends so we can do girl things together. ;-) There are just some things guys just don't get. Anyway, just thought I'd get this off my chest. I'll get off my soap box now and I'll plan on posting something on the more positive side next time I write. Do you have any thoughts on this? To those who know me personally- be honest, what's my problem? Be nice though because I am sensitive... ;-)

It's been awhile...

2009-09-02T08:59:00.000-07:00

I thought it was probably time to update my blog. I'm sorry for the lack of posting but the world of Facebook has sucked me in and claimed most of my precious internet time. We've been doing school for some time now and I've been spending my mornings educating my children. The afternoons have been spent either catching up on sleep, cleaning or sewing. Time is even more valuable to me lately. So, unfortunately, blogging has taken a back burner.

In other news, Grant is now 4 1/2 months old! He is now rolling over both ways and laughing and cooing. He has cut two teeth and has started eating bananas (still nursing also) recently. He dropped down into the 50th percentile for his weight but shot up into the 90th for his height. He sleeps 10-12 hours at night- waking up once to eat. He loves his excersaucer and his Bumbo seat. He laughs at his brothers and thinks they're the greatest people ever! He melts mine and his daddy's heart. He has been (and is) such a joy! Grant is one of the greatest surprises God has ever given us! He has added and will continue to add so much to our family.

Noah is going to be 3 next month! He is now fully potty-trained! He had regressed pretty bad for a few days a couple weeks ago. It was awful! It's like he had never been trained! He had about 15 accidents in a matter of two days. I don't know what happened with him that he started messing himself again but I refused to put him back in diapers. It was rough but he did snap out of it. He hasn't had a single wet or poopie accident for 9 days! Go Noah! He is also talking up a storm recently. He was pretty late with talking but seemed to understand everything we said and would respond to us (do what we asked of him, ect.)for quite some time now (since he was a year old). He is by far our most stubborn and strong-willed child (Jonathan coming in a very close second). We've been having discipline issues with him going to bed. This is an issue we've never experienced before with any of our children. They've all been very ,good sleepers and have always stayed in their beds once we laid them down. Until recently that is. It's been hard but hopefully soon he'll decide that getting out of bed just isn't worth it anymore.

Austin is 5 now and has officially started school. He's doing pretty well and was blessed with common sense. He just gets stuff and people always think he is older than what he is. We have been having an issue with him being lazy. He just doesn't like working. This is something that has Tim and I concerned and will be an area that we will be constantly working on with him. I think some of it is due to Austin's laid back personality. The beauty of homeschooling though is that as parents we can spot our children's weaknesses and strengths and focus on those accordingly. It's amazing how we've been able to pin-point some of those already. Each of them are so,so different!

Jonathan is 7 and is doing amazing in school! He's in second grade and is really been taking off in his reading. We have been using a different curriculum and I'm really enjoying it. I think we've found what works best for us and our family. I would greatly encourage anyone who is considering homeschooling to not be afraid to try different curriculum until you find what is best suited for your children. This is just yet another advantage to homeschooling! Anyway, back to Jonathan. He has been praying with Tim every night. His prayers become longer and more sincere as time goes on. He's been asking allot of questions about God, Heaven, Hell, Satan, ect. He has also been asking allot of questions about life in general. His mind is so inquisitive and he is so anxious to learn. Tim and I have always made it known to our children that we encourage them to ask us anything and we will try as hard as we humanly can to answer them. Jonathan takes full advantage of that and asks us just about anything that comes to mind. And yes, he's asked us questions about sensitive subjects. Which we answer as best we can according to his maturity level. he doesn't always understand our answers but we know someday he will. Sometimes Jonathan's question asking habit becomes annoying to people (other than Tim and I). I simply don't understand why. He's just trying to learn, so why discourage him from doing so?! One of Jonathan's favorite shows is Extreme Engineering (Tim watches it with the boys). I'm sure he doesn't understand everything but he sure understands allot more than you'd think a 7 year old could. Jonathan is growing, changing and maturing so quickly. He's such a great helper, hard worker and incredible big brother!

Homeschooling has been going awesome this year! My attitude has changed allot this year and I've been seeing the many benefits of keeping my children at home. The things/time I would miss out on if I sent my children to school is more than I would want for our family. Time is valuable. Also- I feel much better knowing our children are being taught the values we'd like them to be taught. I've also been encouraged to have a few of my friends decide to also teach their children at home this year. I needed the support. Homeschooling can be hard and support is so essential. I'm looking forward to sharing this journey with other fellow, homeschooling mothers. I know homeschooling is not for everyone and I respect that. I believe God will show you what is best for your family. Homeschooling is best for ours. =)

Tim's been at his new place of employment for four months now. He seems to enjoy it and is doing very well there. He's been getting some overtime in and we are truly grateful for that. We still have some catching up to do. We are still slightly skiddish about his position there. Being he's the new guy we don't know if his position would be secure if they had to start laying off again. The only thing we can do is trust in God and take one day at a time. In this we are confident- God will supply all of our needs! He has never ceased to do so before and he won't cease to do so in the future!

I think that pretty much sums up the latest news in our family. Nothing too new and exciting. Hopefully time will free up and I'll be able to post a little bit more frequently.

Late night ramblings...

2009-08-18T07:44:00.000-07:00

I went to bed later than Tim last night. When I came to bed he rolled over and mumbled something. I thought he was awake. This was our conversation...

Tim: "I think 5..."

Me: "5 what?"

Tim: "5 people"

Me: "5 people for what."

Tim: "5 people to help."

Me: "5 people to help with what?"

Tim: "5 people to help with food."

Me: "5 people to help with food for what?"

Tim: "For the picnic."

Me: "What picnic?"

Tim: "The company picnic."

Me: "Huh? What company picnic?"

Tim: Silence...

Me: "Honey, what picnic?!"

Tim: More silence...

Uhm...ya, I thought he was awake. I guess not...

Have mentioned just how much I love this man? He makes me laugh even when he's not trying...

(His place of employment doesn't have a company picnic. Only a Christmas party. Nor would they need help with food if they had one.)

Nursing cover-ups and other things.

2009-08-13T07:22:00.001-07:00

I bought some fabric last night to make some nursing cover-ups. I can't wait to put them together today! I have enough material for about four. I didn't want to make too many just in case they didn't sell or I didn't care for how they turned out. I'm going to try and make one for myself too. =) I've really needed one and I can't believe I haven't gotten one made for myself yet. Let me know if you want one. I think I'm going to charge $20 (cost of shipping included) for one. Covers being sold on the Internet are going for about $32-$35. I'll be sure to take a picture of the ones I make! Remember that I'll always take more orders for bags too!

I started school with the boys this week. So far it's going pretty well. I can't believe how well Jonathan's doing with his reading! I'm so proud of him! I've also started Austin with some kindergarten work. My goal is to teach him to read this year and some basic math (counting to 100 and some addition). If I accomplish that than I'll be satisfied. Each year that goes by I enjoy homeschooling my children more. The first year was tough, the second year was still hard but not near as bad and this year I actually enjoy sitting with them for several hours and doing their school with them. Jonathan seems less frustrated since his reading has improved. This helps with my stress level immensely. I'm hoping and praying each year just gets better and better!

Grant has a tooth starting to peak through! I thought maybe he was starting to cut one because he's been drooling, has had a runny nose and was/is chewing on everything! He also had a low grade temp so I knew it wouldn't be long. Sure enough, yesterday morning I found a little, white tooth poking it's way through! =) Seriously- how is he old enough to be getting teeth already?! It's just not right. He needs to stop growing and changing so quickly! Plus, it just might cause me to get baby fever again! Okay...not really but maybe in another year or two. ;-)

I'm going to be cleaning out the house this week and next in preparation for a garage sale my sister and I are going to have. I have so much stuff laying around that I need to get rid of some of it. Might as well turn it into cash. ;-) I'm planning on selling my cloth diapers, allot of boys clothes, some of my homemade bags, nursing covers and allot of maternity clothing. It should be a big garage sale between what I have and what my sister has. If you're in the area- stop by! We'll be having it next Friday and Saturday (21st and 22nd).

So now you'll know if I haven't blogged why I haven't. Life just happens sometimes. =)

Wordless Wednesday

2009-08-11T18:16:00.000-07:00

Grant at 3 1/2 months old...he's growing so quickly...

What's in 'your' fridge?!

2009-08-05T13:44:00.000-07:00

Here's a look inside ours...

Potty training update!

2009-08-05T06:21:00.000-07:00

I've been hesitant to write this (afraid he would regress) but I think it's safe now to say that Noah is potty-trained! I'm so proud of him! I decided last week that I wasn't going to put Noah in diapers anymore- not even at bedtime- and I think/know that's what did the trick! We had several accidents last week (about 1-2 x's a day) but now he's been accident free for almost three days now! Ya Noah!!! He was a little later with potty training than my other two but I think it was the right time for him. He's done great and it didn't take very long at all once I really started training him. The technique I used is my sister's and it really works! I won't get into it now but it's amazing and actually pretty simple! Will do it this way in a few years with Grant. I'm so thankful potty-training is complete with yet another one of my children. Potty training is NOT something I enjoy! ;-)

Playing around with my Camera

2009-07-30T07:02:00.000-07:00

(My sister, Bethany, was my subject.)

Wordless Wednesday

2009-07-29T10:13:00.001-07:00

Sheer Joy!
(My cousin, Carolynn, and my sister, Bethany, enjoying the beach.)

Emotions...who needs them?!

2009-07-17T05:47:00.000-07:00

I've been dealing with allot of different emotions lately. Sometimes I can't even explain why. Sometimes I just feel sad and unsettled. For reasons unknown to me. I know part of this is due to hormones. I worry about finances instead of praising God that we have an income to cover our bills and provide our food. I fret about my weight and focus on the 10-13 more pounds (10 to pre-pregnancy- 13 till goal weight) I have to lose instead of focusing on the 42 I've lost. I get tense, uptight and stressed over the destruction and disobedience of the boys instead of rejoicing in the gift and beauty of them. I've been sad about my boring, brown hair (I miss my blond hair...so,so,SO bad!) instead of thanking God that I have hair. I've felt restricted in what I can and can not eat instead of being grateful that I have good food to eat (I've cut out wheat/gluten, pop and cut back on my sugar intake). I'm just a roller coaster of emotions and I'm getting plain tired of it. I want to be back to normal. This postpartum stuff just plain stinks.

I'll have you know though that I've been taking Fenugreek (mainly started to help with nursing) and I read up on it some more last night. It's supposed to help with hormones and I did have a great day yesterday. Today has been o.k. Noah's been pushing my buttons (big surprise!) but overall I feel fine. Unfortunately, Tim is working again tomorrow (but yay for overtime!) so we really won't have much of a weekend. =( I'm a little disappointed but yet I'm thankful. Tim goes to school next week and his pay check will be really light the week after that. The extra overtime is really needed. So I'm thankful the Lord has provided again. =)

Also- do you think I should cut my hair? I keep getting comments that I look like my mother and it bothers me a little bit (I'll admit it!). I want to look like me. I need a change. Since coloring my hair would take too much upkeep I've thought of cutting and styling it different. Sadly though, Tim loves my hair long. He has tried to convince me that he understands why I want a change and he doesn't care. I don't buy it. He would love it if I was blond again and kept my long hair but the cost is just too much. Why did my hair have to go and change color anyway?! What would you do? I'd love to get some ideas...leave a comment!

The dress.

2009-07-12T12:46:00.001-07:00

Someone had asked to see a picture of the top/front part of the dress (which is still available!) I had pictured on the previous post. (Click the picture to enlarge) She also asked if I did custom orders. So, in answer to her question- yes, I do. In fact, I would LOVE to! I can do adult clothing too but it gets a little more time consuming and can I say, stressful? Mainly because I'd have to worry about it fitting properly. For example, I made myself an adorable dress for Grant's dedication. It was too big. I went by the pattern's measurements but it still ended up a little too big (mostly in the chest and shoulders). I wore it anyway and received multiple compliments but I just wasn't comfortable in it. I can always take it in but just haven't gotten around to it. I really need a dress form! Would make life a little bit easier. Well, my sewing life that it. ;-) Anyway, here's a couple more pictures of the dress. =)

Front and top part of the dress.

This is the back view of the dress. The bodice is lined, the straps are adjustable,their is a two-button closure (even though I think one is adequate and that might be what I do next) and all the seams are serged.

So...it's been awhile.

2009-07-10T08:42:00.000-07:00

Sorry it's been so long since I posted last but frankly, life has just happened. I've also had a serious lack of motivation to do much of anything. It's been pretty gloomy in our neck of the woods the last few weeks. I've been sleeping allot. I think I've been dealing with a touch of postpartum blues. Last week was especially hard for me. I was very sad and melancholy about Grant growing and changing so quickly. I think seeing how tiny and new my niece is made me realize it even more. He's already 11 weeks old! He smiles and coos, rolls over, sits in his bumbo seat, weighs 14 1/2 pounds, is down to 6-8 feedings ( he's still solely breastfeeding), and sleeps 9-10 hours straight through at night. It's gone way too fast! He may be our last too which makes it even harder to see him grow up so fast. Sigh. My baby isn't a newborn anymore. =(

I've also been trying to potty-train Noah. Ugh!!! It's not going so well! He refuses to go on the toilet. He'll sit there but do nothing. The minute I take him off he'll go. I bought him some cloth training pants and I'm going to try those. I haven't been wanting to deal with the 'messes' but I think I'm going to have to in order for him to get it. This child wears his mother out! I love him to death but man,oh, man, he's a handful! I think he is the equivalent of 2 two and a half year olds. Yesterday he found a jar of blue-dyed sugar crystals and ate the whole thing! He was full of energy the whole day!! He didn't take his nap and he didn't fall asleep until 10:00 that night! It was an interesting day.Let's just say food coloring, sugar and Noah do NOT mix well! Anyway, if anyone has any helpful tips on potty-training let me know!
I've also been sewing allot. I have three bag orders to get done within the next couple of days and I've done a few things for my Etsy shop. Yesterday I made this dress. It's a size 18-24 months and it's pretty cute. Almost makes me want a girl! ;-) Let me know if you ever need anything- I take custom orders!

Well, that pretty much sums it up. Nothing too exciting. Wish I had some cooler post ideas but I'm just not creative like that.

Wordless (almost) Wednesday

2009-07-01T07:42:00.000-07:00

My sister and brother-in-law made me an aunt again! Their second child/first daughter was born last night. She was 3 weeks early and weighed in at 6lbs. 1 oz. and 19 1/2 in. (only 1/2 in. shorter than Grant!). She's healthy and nursed well for her mother last night. Praise God for such a beautiful addition to our family! She has stolen all of our hearts already! I love being an aunt!

The new big brother, Luke.

And the beautiful new mother (my little sister), Courtnie.

Ugh...grr...sigh.

2009-06-24T08:33:00.000-07:00

You know it's going to be a long day when you wake up to this...

and this...

and this!

(The culprit of the cereal messes!)

Not to mention I have a boatload of sewing to do! Ugh...grr...sigh.

Wordless Wednesday

2009-06-24T03:50:00.000-07:00

Just a boy and his Bear...

A tribute to my husband...

2009-06-22T19:22:00.001-07:00

(Love this picture of him. He loves to get a good nap in when he can!)

Who just happens to be a great father. Here are just a few reasons why.

~He loves God and strives to live for him every single day.

~He loves me. Which gives the boys a good example of how to treat their future brides.

~He does his best to provide and give us a good life.

~He's a hard worker. (Working is his idea of a good time.)

~He loves his boys.

~He prays for his boys.

~He prays with his boys.

~He disciplines his boys.

~He tells his boys he loves them countless times a day.

~He's not afraid to get down on the floor and wrestle with them.

~He takes his boys camping.

~He takes his boys to church.

~He leads by example.

(The list could go on!)

And best of all- the boys think he's the best, most awesome daddy in the whole, wide world! Thank you, Tim, for giving my children (our boys) the best father a boy could ever want or ask for!

(In honor of Father's Day...)

~

Sew Creative Boutique

2009-06-22T18:47:00.001-07:00

I went ahead and opened up a new Etsy shop. I only have two items listed now but I plan to list several more things by the end of the week. Just remember- I will take custom orders. You can get to my shop by clinking this link. =)

Wordless Wednesday (almost)

2009-06-16T20:39:00.001-07:00

8 weeks old Thursday...13 1/2 pounds, smiles and coos and so incredibly kissable! Why do they grow so quickly?!

A few more fabric choices...

2009-06-10T08:08:00.000-07:00

(I don't have a contrast fabric for this one but it'd still look cute by itself.)

Sewing...

2009-06-09T10:10:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking about starting to sew more bags and sell them. Tim has a job but the pay isn't near as good as it was at his old job. Sooo...to give us a little more breathing room when it comes to our finances I've decide to try and sell more totes, purses and diaper bags. I made a trip to Hobby Lobby yesterday and picked out some cute fabric. Let me know if any of you are interested and I'd be willing to make you a purse/tote/diaper bag. Here are a few fabric choices...

And here are a couple bags I'd recommend. They are even cuter in person! So fun to make too!

Too busy...

2009-06-03T19:55:00.000-07:00

...pinching these cheeks and...

...kissing these toes to blog!